dumped out of nowhere but it's my fault

so this starts on the 4th, but i got dumped on the 7th. on the 4th, i had a big fight with my mom where things went too far, and it was a Big Deal. i vented to my boyfriend. the 5th was my birthday, and nothing happened at all, so i wasn't there to support him very well, and was just feeling awful. on the 7th, i worked a 8.5 hour shift, then came home. i made a stupid tweet and had a stupid twitter argument, and then because my boyfriend hadn't replied to my messages i tried to talk to him in general terms about all my friends, because honestly a lot of my friends don't respond anymore. he got upset, and that's when we broke up. i felt like he left me at my lowest point, and it felt like he was shaming me for not having processed my family trauma like he has been able to. i know i lashed out at him and was being really irrational, and i want to apologize to him for not being the best boyfriend, but i don't think i can contact him anymore, and i don't know if he even wants to talk to me. it's been hard to not think about this all the time, because i isolated myself and based my life around him and the fantasy of being with him. i don't really know how to end this, sorry, this is my first post here!