me and my boyfriend are on a break. i’m not sure what to do

me and my boyfriend have been together for a year. we’re almost polar opposites, but we have such a good connection with each other up until now.

we’ve been getting into arguments for the past month, and to be honest i never thought they were a big deal. we’d just apologize and that was that. i was over them within the night, but he lets them sit in his head and it gets to him as time goes on. last week, he initiated a break and told me he just needs time to sort his mental space out.

it’s not a no-contact break; we agreed to meet up on sundays to get a weekly check up. we still do streaks, and text good morning/goodnight or if we made it somewhere safe (school, work, etc). but i’ve been stressing so bad and overthinking to the point where i text him here and there for reassurance.

i tried convincing him to just talk to me and we can work it out, but he says he doesn’t even know why he feels like this. he says he just feels “off” and “not like himself” in regards to our relationship. being alone is just always how he’s dealt with things, so he thinks it’s the best way to identify his emotions, identify WHY he’s feeling these emotions, and identify a solution. only then will he communicate with me.

it has me scared that this is a prelude to a break up. everyone keeps telling me that it is. i don’t want it to be; i want to make this work but it seems the only solution to him is for him to work it out on his own and communicate with me when he’s found what’s wrong. i’m scared the distance will make us lose our connection. even when i get worried and text him, he’s dry and just says “i’m sorry my love” or “i miss you too.” he doesn’t offer the same advice that he used to. i don’t know if it’s because he’s beginning to fall out of love with me, or if it’s just him being distracted with his thoughts or what he’s doing.

when we DO hang out for our weekly check up, everything feels normal. it feels like we’re just having another netflix binge and just back to how we were before. but as soon as i leave, the texts stop and it’s back to square one. i’m scared i already pushed him away with my insecurities and i’ve been trying to work on the codependency issue, but i feel like it’s just who i am. he’s never expressed an issue with it. when i apologize for bothering him, he says “no need to apologize my love, i understand.”

but if he understands how much it hurts me, why can’t he be willing to talk it out? what if he NEVER figures out what’s wrong and just assumes we cant be together? we almost broke up when he realized how bad this was hurting me. he told me “maybe breaking up is the only solution. i cant keep hurting you like this.” but i told him i would wait, if that’s what it took. he retracted what he said about breaking up after i convinced him that i can handle it. but… it’s just a lot harder than i expected.

any advice is appreciated. i’m sorry for the rant, and i’ll give more details if needed. its just been stressful lately :/