so i have this friend
I currently have this friend that lives in a different state than me but we met at a camp. I wanted to talk about her here because I'm not complaining at all but I've never experienced someone quite like her :). it almost seems too good to be true and Idk why. ((to hide her identity ima call her holly)) So at this camp holly was part of my group and at the end of each day at the camp, we would open up about our life experiences and during one of these times I opened up about my abusive childhood (I even started crying and felt embarrassed) and everyone was very supportive. Later I went back to this camp room and Holly looked and me and said "I adore you" and I couldn't believe I heard that from someone.... it was a sweetness I've never felt before. She even comforted me at the camp when I cried at one of the life experiences events. Once when we were dancing she said she loves me and even to this day we text back and forth and she seems like she really cares for me and I do too for her and I'm starting to really love her a lot (not in a romantic way). The thing is I'm afraid of getting attached or if its all too good to be true. she says "I love you" all the time to me and I say it back but sometimes I'm afraid I'm being too clingy when I say "I love you" to someone. I just get so scared of opening up and fear of abandonment.
@Alwayshungry983
When we have issues in past relationships, a lot of us have them, we tend to be cautious about newly formed connections with others because we're terrified of getting hurt again. There are a lot of unknowns, including where the situation is going between you, how you both feel, and even if it's infatuation or actual love that is developing.
To quell those fears, you can opt to move things between you at a reasonable pace. It's not a race, right? So, how do you throttle the situation? You talk it out with your prospective partner, let loose some of your fears, and just be upfront that you do not suspect that your new situation together is going to end up that way -- but, you do want to ensure that those thoughts or feelings do not become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Relationships take time to build, they aren't instant, and getting comfortable too fast can spell trouble. Love takes time, it's never built in a week, a month, or sometimes even a year. Infatuation builds quickly, but sadly dissipates just as fast as it arrives.
On a side project, you may want to consider doing your own homework on what works for couples who are in healthy relationships. You may want to learn about the skills that are necessary to have a healthy connection with someone. With your fear of abandonment, understand that those are not your partner's responsibility to help you to overcome those fears. The responsibility is yours. You can ask for support, but ultimately the issues you fear, face and/or have are yours alone to address and deal with before they tank what you both share.
Good luck with your relationship discovery, it will likely be a very exciting journey for you both.
