Am I obsessed? How do I forget her?
I knew this girl last summer. We worked together so I used to see her almost every day. We had a strange relation: it was clear that there was something between us, but didn't end up well. Working was very stressful for me, so I finished shifting my frustration and anger to her. At the end of the summer, I apologised to her, saying that I had a problem with depression, which of course wasn't true...
My feeling was that I lost the opportunity to be together with her and to have the first serious relationship of my life (I'm 21), but didn't happen. For the following months, after the end of the summer and the end of our seasonal job, we haven't been even messaging. Though, I've been really sad and alone during the winter, I've been thinking a lot about her, hoping we'd work together again the following summer.
So here I am. I started working with her a pair of weeks ago. I am aware she is on her way: she went abroad for 8 months with the college and I imagine she hanged out, she met new people, she even is in a relationship. But on the other hand, I've got stuck her in my mind. I dream about her, I constantly think about her, or, for example, when we work the same shift, I focus unconsciously to my appearance.
I started thinking I must forget her. I hanged out or chatted with some girls, but my mind gets back over and over to her. I am pretty sure I am obsessed with her, BUT I can't find a way to get out of it. And that is basically my "relationship" problem.
@goodSugar5731
I*m sorry that things didn't turn out like you'd hoped they would with her. Working together must be hard when you can't have her but have to see her often. Being conscious of your looks and how you act is normal when you have a crush.
Now that she's in a relationship there is not much you can do. The best way forward might be to treat her as a coworker for the time being, and when summer is over, you'll have to get over her. It's gonna be hard, I know. Try to eliminate her from your life as best you can. Don't start texting, don't check her social media. I think going cold turkey will help heal you much faster. Controlling your thoughts and emotions is impossible, of course, and you'll just have to acknowledge any feelings that arise after she is gone from your life. But know that they are not forever. Time will help you. I would advice against trying to replace her with another girl when your mind is still on her. Try to keep your mind busy with things that you enjoy, like hobbies or seeing family/friends.
@passionforpink
Thank you for your answer. You seem perfectly to comprehend my situation.
I think resignation is what I've got to work on the next period. Avoiding her (without compromising our working performances) might be the best thing, so that I will feel like she is not as necessary as I had previously hoped in my life.
At the same time, I'm afraid I won't succeed in forgetting her. Last winter I didn't. Although we didn't message, although I stopped following her on social media, during that time I haven't been able to remove her from my head, as I was looking forward to the following summer.
I think I must work more on my relation, or "mental approach", to her. I think the way you draw might be the best, so I thank you once again.