First relationships... share your experience!

@AveryLove Well my first relationship was an online one 3 months ago and I was 13 years old. To be honest it kind of felt unreal and extremely weird for me to be in a relationship because I never had any romantic interactions with anyone. All my "friends" had at least a relationship in the past but I didn't which made me think that I'm one of those people that are better off alone sometimes, or are too different and special that they don't fit with ordinary boys. And that's basically true. I didn't feel insecure about it or anything, I was okay with myself and would wait for the right time. So this was a season where I had started realizing that a love life for me actually exists, after realizing I was in love with a classmate-friend who didn't feel the same way (+ he had a girlfriend). So this was my healing era from that "rejection". He didn't reject me directly just put his girlfriend to do it at some point 🙄. During this era I was spending a lot of my time on Quora, tbh mostly to find support since I hadn't found 7cups yet. And during my time of making new friends there, all of a sudden a guy texted me and we started talking. I thought that he looked cute from his profile picture and had the thought in the back of my head of us being together. After some time it became something I actually was thinking of more realistically and tbh because I was sure he was interested in me too, I was pretty sure we would end up together. So he once asked me if I have a boyfriend which made me confirm that he was 100% interested in me, but after my response he didn't say anything more (maybe he was shy to ask me). So after a day or so I decided to ask him myself. At first I really liked him and I was very excited to come back from school and stuff so I could text him and it would bother me if he hadn't texted me to the point where I would worry that he didn't care as much about me as I did. There was a day where I started growing feelings for him and I thought I was in love. But after the first weeks the feelings of dissatisfaction arose. The only thing that kept me being with him tbh was that he is a libra and he reminded me of that crush that rejected me a bit (just bc of their same zodiac sign lol). At first the only thing that bothered me is that when I would come back from a long day "desperate" to talk to him I wouldn't find a message and he wouldn't even reply until the next day and that made me think that because of school we would never find a common time to talk. It made me feel so sad and ignored and like he truly didn't care so much about me. That I think was both true in some way but also not true because he thought of me in his own way (which was kinda ignorant, especially in texts due to his libra side). The next weeks tho, a toxic relationship started for me since he would be so stuck in his sexual feelings towards me and even though I had explained to him that I'm demisexual and I view this topic differently, and had different expectations from our relationship he would keep talking about this. It reached to a point where every conversation would be about this topic even though I had cleared my feelings to him from the beginning. It even reached to a point where he would ask me for n**des that I of course said no about. So in general we both had completely different feelings and expectations from our relationship and that made me feel horrible about this relationship. I once ended it but it ended up being just for a day because I kinda started missing him (tbh mostly missed having someone to talk to) and I decided to check if he was okay and he told me he was a little depressed because of me and that made me "give him another chance". Then we started getting a bit better after making some "compromises" and conversations and clearing up our feelings and I also talked to him about my boundaries. Anyways now I can't say that we have officially broke up, lol but this person is no longer in my life because he deactivated his Quora account and we haven't talked since the end of April. (maybe he deactivated his account because he had strict parents who didn't let him use social media but anyways it was bad of him for not even telling me a goodbye 🙄) So I don't have any great experience from a relationship or "my love life" yet but I really hope that I get one in the future and tbh soon since I really need someone in my life right now.