First relationships... share your experience!

Tagging our teens & ATLS! @CalmingStar @Hope3729 @River @AnyaS @Skybar @onedirection1213 @Clarisse29 @Emirson2018 @Mia1602 @Mountainmystic777 @SupportiveMonkey46 @electricLily13 @freshmelon54 @Auditormadness9 @Busranurr @FranklyMaple @gymnast9460 @Hope3729 @tryingmybest7 @ASilentObserver

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@Hope3729

My first relationship wasn't great because I was totally committed to making it work but my girlfriend wasn't. She often often cancelled dates, was often jealous of any girl I talked to even when I promised her it was just a friend (which was 100% true), and tried to blame everyone else for her problems. But I didn't really see that as signs of an unhealthy relationship because I really wanted to believe she had the best intentions.

For someone entering their first relationship.. Just be careful! I know it's exciting and all and you might think you're totally in love with your partner - which could be true, who knows. Just be aware that if it doesn't feel right, it probably isn't!

My first relationship was with someone who didn

My first relationship was very raw and crazy. I wasnt sure if it was love or the thrill of the rush filling my soul. Nice memories regardless of how it ended. It was the beginning of finding my soulmate. Its been 20 yrs and Im still searching

My first (real) relationship is the dream relationship. (We're still together.) At least, I believe it's a dream.

Before him, I had a middle school 'boyfriend' who was more of a title than a boyfriend. I think my first piece of advice would be to not be in a relationship like that. If you're only with a person so you can say that you have a boyfriend, I don't think you're in the best relationship and I can almost guarantee that it's not going to last forever.

My current love and I were best friends before we started dating. That's a huge thing that influences our relationship. We knew a lot of things about each other before we started dating, so we knew that we would get along and be a good couple before it got down to the rough parts. I help lead a girls relationship study, and so many young girls (especially) jump into relationships with boys and they don't even know their favorite color!

Honesty in a relationship is so so so important! I don't think I could stress it enough. If honesty/integrity are not a part of your relationship, you can only imagine the downfalls and bad falls to that relationship that are upcoming.

(If you have a personal health issue, mental or physical) Be sure you're open with your S/O about your personal health issues! For the first few months of a relationship, my boyfriend didn't know that I have silent panic attacks. When I finally opened up about it to him, he realized that he had seen it happening before, but he didn't know what was really wrong. Being open can prevent confusion, it can prevent a conflict, and it can make the relationship closer. And, if your S/O doesn't think they can "handle" being in a relationship with someone with your issue (I've seen it happen before, and it's even been said about me to my boyfriend ("I don't think I would be able to handle that")), then you'll know that relationship isn't right for you and you can kill it off before it steals any more joy from you.

Love yourself! That's so so so so so important. If you harbor resentment and hatred for yourself, it makes loving another person so tough! You are an amazing person, dear friend reading this, and I hope (if you don't already) that you begin loving yourself.

TL;DR: I dated for a title (the fake relationship), then the current man (my forever love), I'm best friends with, we're honest, open about personal health issues, and we love ourselves.

Well, my advice goes out to everyone generally speaking, but specificity to young girls desperate for a relationship.

I was you once, I understand what you feel and what you are going through and I dont know if my words will stop you, but PLEASE dont chat online with boys that are older than you, its not worth it. Dont try online dating either (IT SUCKS).

Anyways, I havent had my first real relationship yet, so I dont really belong on this thread, but my message was so important that I needed to share it...

Lots of love,

izzie3000

@Hope3729 I am not a teen anymore *cries* but I have started my first relationships (the current ones) when I was still technically a teen (19 yo). So, all in all I would need to say that I never thought that relationships takes so many time and that you are happy to give it. I spend a lot of time with my girlfriend, in her place, in my place, in the city or traveling at each others city... And I have never been happier, to just chill and do nothing with another person.

on the other hand, something that I also understood - that relationships makes you feel a lot of feelings that you didn't had before. That being said, it's a lot of positive and nice feelings, such as hapiness, love, kindness, surprises, but there are also a lot of negative feelings such as jealousy, insecure, a fear to loose the person, fights over simple things, misunderstandings.

For me, what seems the hardest is to get over the past that she had and that is still haunting her. It feels like her past relationships are still haunting her in some ways - making her insecure, being it hard for her to trust me to have her phone or not showing something in my phone, me asking something too much and etc. So, usually, when you date, you date not only that person but also their past

God this prompt is amazing.

Well, my story isnt the best, but it sure is something. My first relationship technically started in sixth grade and lasted until eighth, but it wasnt steady. He and I started as best friends in Pre-algebra, always making silent jokes from across the room. In seventh grade we both were aware of our emotions, but I was never good at handling emotion and screwed the relationship up. I kept wanting to break up with him and get back together and we finally cut off during eighth grade. We dont talk as much now, but you know the advice i would give, is try to know what it is you want before you get into a relationship

@Hope3729

My first relationship was with a boy who I had known for about 2 months. We were good friends and started dating. Around 3 months in he asked me if I wanted to kiss him and I said yes. It was my first kiss. I hated it. I vomited and went into a horrible state of mental health after. I never let him touch me or tell me he loved me again because it truly uspet and hurt me. I saw how unhappy I was but didn't want to break it off becuase I didn't want to hurt his feelings.

I chose to end the relationship 4 months ago due to me questioning my sexuality, mental heath, and if I was truly happy in the relationship. It was not smooth. He burned my reputation and told everyone lies about us. However, there were many people, my true friends who stuck it through with me. They gave me support through something so difficult. They were his friends too but when they saw how disgusting he was being, we banded together and made our own family. These people were (not real names) Allan, Leo, and Pat. They are my true friends and we are eachother's family.

My advice: Do not see relationships as the perfect lifestyle with sparks and fireworks and doves. They can be messy. You can have a panic attack after your first kiss, you can have go into a rough patch. Just do what makes you happy and know that you and your s/o will have a fluid connection. In my case, I hated any physical touch or affection and realized that I wasn't happy and didn't have the butterflies I had at first. That is perfectly ok. Just remember that feelings and emotions change and you should never be ashamed of that.

If you do split or have an awful experence like I did, find your Allan's, Leo's, and Pat's. Those are the people who will love and support you for who you are and those are who you should spend your time and energy with.

<3

@AveryLove

My first relationship last for about 2 months....but it was only me who was putting in effort in it. My boyfriend neverloved me, all he wanted was my body. He took my first kiss and he almost tried every thing except my virginity. And when he was done he left me. After he left i realised he was never itrested in me, he took advantage of me just coz i liked him in first place. Whenever we talk he was always like send me nudes and all that stuff...if i start talking about normal couple things he used to leave the chat. He never let me meet his friends, even he never told his friends that we were in relationship. I supported him in his studies, helped him in his projects, etc. I did every thing to be an ideal gf but he never did something for me. The reason he gave me on breakup was he didnt felt that spark in our relation....how could he fell if he never has tried. After he left it has been 10 months, i am not seing anyone...or jntrested in anyone. I dont even have any crush. I think that i no longer believe in love, coz that single person broke my all dreams.....