I dont even know

I dont think I've ever been genuine with anyone I've liked ive never fully shown myself and I dont know how to be comfortable with people knowing who I am. The thought of being alone with no one to love or to love me back makes me upset but i have no idea how i should go about trying to make that happen or if i even should. I feel like unless I can show someone my actual full personality that I shouldn't be in a relationship because what if I get comfortable enough to show them and then they no longer have interest in me. I'm really bad around people in general so I worry that I will never find anyone to love fully. I read and watch romances because for whatever reason they make me extremely happy for the moment that I'm reading or watching it but when it's over i get overly upset for the fact that it's over and that i realize i will probably never have anything anywhere close to that. Which is understandable because its fiction and most things dont pan out like that but itll be over the most normal things that I think I'll never be able to have with someone else.