I don't want to be like this
My ex cheated on me, played with my feelings for 3 months, he showed zero empathy, body shamed me. While all I did was believing him, loving and trust him. And now he's back begging me for a second chance. I lost my feelings, I lost so much and I was about to love myself again. He is trying his best, sometimes I just want to make him feel like he did on me. But I don't want that. I don't want to be like him. But I feel like that's what I become. I still seem to have feelings for him and it makes him happy. But it's just toxic, because I can't handle what he did to me. I don't know what to do. We are definitely not good. We got drunk and we had a fight. He beat me up and kicked me several times, while I was already on the ground. I have a black eye now and yet I still can't end it....
@SteinsGate1 I wish I knew the right words to say. I hope you can find the strength to walk away from him. Because it doesn't matter if there was drinking involved or if you were fighting. No one deserves to be treated that way. Of course it makes him happy, he's getting what he wants and gets to do what ever he wants with out consequence. You deserve better. Everytime he mistreats you - it gets easier for him to do it. It gets worse and worse and it won't stop. Love isn't supposed to leave you bruised in such a way <3
Please be gentle with yourself and your thoughts
Hi there, I was once in this exact same position. I did go back, and feel maybe I can give you a bit of honest perspective. I feel I should of instantly blocked him and never spoken to him again (I did this the second time we split and wish I had the first.) I wasted another 4 years in a relationship that was so toxic and made me feel worthless. Even if he had changed, it is exceptionally hard to trust again in both him (to be faithful) or yourself (to be confident and love yourself). It comes with so much self doubt. My relationship was good for a while second time around, and then it got far far worse. Do I believe someone can make a genuine mistake? Yes. But from reading your post you sound much like myself and my honest advice would be block him on everything and be single for a while. Work on yourself, because you'll need it after an expierence like that. My relationship also got abusive. I really hope you can find the strength and courage to leave. I didnt, and now I feel so sorry to the girl I was letting down, my younger self. And now I have met someone lovely and I struggle because I let myself be a punching bag for so long. I wish you all the best on this journey, but please please find the strength to let go. One thing that I heard that always stuck is that if you wouldn't tell your best friend to do what your doing - don't do it. Good luck and big hugs xx
Leave him u know why because if it was me I'd never in my existing form would ever hurt my girlfriend even if I was told that she cheated on me because love is sacrifice in the end u love each other or sacrifice your heart actually u know it your fault see u don't see guys hearts just the LOOks matter or o dame how hot that guy is well look where that has gotten u with a black eye dame tell him Hess lucky I was not there would have broken his legs