Is this relationship onesided??
Hey,so like a month or two ago I started texting with a boy(he/them pronounce for them)and we already were out on dates and on our 2nd date he kissed me(he's 1 1/2 year older than me)we get along very well and I feel comfortable with them and he makes me happy.But I'm worried now bc I'm always rhe one that texts first even when he wakes up earlier than me (I see it on other social meadia)he doesn't texts goodmorning ,I'm always the one that does this and it makes me feel insecure and I think he doesn't really wants me,even tho when we meet he always says:"I haven't felt this happy ina long time" and "I never hold eye contact with someone this long". But he also sometimes talks abt their ex,and on twitter he alsways reposts the pictures of this one girl and comments things like:How can someone be soo pretty omg I wanna marry you. I think he would choose her over me everytime,and I already cried alot bc of them and idk how to not overthink everything when he doesn't texts. Another thing is that he has depression too and once he said that if he doesn't texts for awhile he just wants to be alone and I understand that and want to give them space and time,but it hurts to see that he still texts with his friends normally it makes me feel like I'm not welcome in their life and he can replace me easily without missing me. I also saw a few time how he tweeted stuff like:"I'm unable to love someone" or "yeah i prefer more to be friends than being in a relationship " and I always just think that he should say if he doesn't wants this rn,bc I overthink this to the point were I want to give up. He also just didn't came when we had a date and I waited like 2-3 hours till he texted me that he's sorry and he couldn't come. Yeah and last night I send them a text that said:"Hey could we maybe meet soon?I want to ask you smth important but i don't wanna do this over the phone" And he just said:"ok" and when I now ask him when we can meet he always just says idk or I can't promise anything. And I just really need help with this situation bc idk what to do.
@adventurousSky3066
It definitely sounds very onesided. He's flirting with other girls, he doesn't initiate contact, if anything he's making excuses to avoid contact/meeting, he doesn't commit to any future dates, he didn't even respect you enough to tell you he wasn't coming. Any one of those things on a rare occasion, can probably have some other explanation - Maybe he was busy on occasion, maybe an emergency came up. But collectively, all of those red flags together, consistently like this, is a very strong indicator that he's not interested or losing interest (and from how he's flirting with other girls, probably also exploring his options). He very probably already is wondering how to end things with you, but he just doesn't have the courage and decency to tell you outright - So he's probably going to try his best to avoid you until you get the message or intiate a break-up yourself. Those things that he says ("I haven't been this happy in a long time", "I never hold someones eyes this long")- it sounds like he just enjoys telling people romantic things because he is in love with the idea of being in love, but when it comes to actually committing to someone, he doesn't do it very well. And part of him admits this ("I prefer more to be friends than a relationship"). But at the same time due to his depression possibly, he also enjoys the company of a lot of people in his life because they distract him from his loneliness and sadness, and I think some of those people he flirts with, and maybe leads them on into thinking there is some kind of relationship there.
Whatever it is, it doesn't seem to add up to anything genuine, because if he did genuinely have feelings for you, you wouldnt have this much doubt. He would go out of his way to show you that you're a priority, rather then avoiding you, not texting, flirting with other girls, he would at least have the decency to tell you when he was going to be late or if he couldn't make it to a date (because its courteous to do this for anyone, not just your partner). I think his relationship with you, is more about him, than it is about any feelings he actually has for you.
You can do better, and you deserve better!
CatsInTheCradle
