One sided friendship
This post is just for me to vent, might be a bit messy. If anyone actually is reading this, would appreciate if I could get some advice.
So I barely have any friends and the few I have honestly wouldnt be bothered if I disappeared toda. But I have one friend who I guess I would consider a closer friend that the others. Shes always saying how much I mean to her and how Im her best friend. I always listen to her problems, small or big, we can spend hours talking about her. I know so much about her and I give advice for anythings he needs.
Recently I have been trying to open up more to her about my life. Im not really that kind of person normally, it takes a while for me to open up to people, because I immediately assume that people dont care about me (why would they).
Yesterday we were speaking on the phone, we had been speaking for about 30 min about a boy situation she has. It had been quiet for a while so I figured I would mention something Ive been struggling with lately, as an attempt to open up. I told her and she didnt say anything. After a few seconds she asked me what I said because she was on her phone doing something at the same time, so I repeated my sentence and she responded with yeah.. thats gotta be tough thats when I realised. This isnt a real friend. She doesnt care about me, like I thought.
Im always going to her house, we never talk about my problems, she only calls me when she needs something.
I don't know what to do.
@Grace1150
Maybe you should talk to her and tell her that you feel on a one sided friendship, maybe she hasnt even noticed. If she changes then great, if not you can decide what to do. Good luck
I've had a couple friends for whom I was the primary listener too. At first I was only flattered that someone poured their thoughts out to me, and plus they were intelligent people, so I learned something from them too. But it's true, overtime it got so tiring, especially when they just took my presence for granted, hardly ever asked about my problems, and didn't pay attention when I opened up to them at all.
One day, I just walked away. It was easy for me because we talked online (we knew each other in person before, but I moved). I can't tell you if what I did was right, but I felt so much better letting go of these people. I wish them well, but I think if the relationships just weren't serving us, we have every right to walk away.
These days I'm quite alone. I'm still learning the skill of making two-sided friendships, and it's taking a while. However, I think I'm much happier alone than with such friends.
Of course, I could have chosen to just stay and listen to them too, but then, I would just have to recognize that I wouldn't be a friend, but a listener, like a 7cups listener, no more.
That was what I did and how I felt afterward. I hope my experience shows you some possiblities in this situation 