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Should I go for it or not?

User Profile: LeaBeachWood1220
LeaBeachWood1220 August 5th, 2022

I never vent to anyone but I don't know who to speak to and I feel like advice from someone that I don't know might be better from someone that I do know.

I’ve been really torn between my feelings over a guy lately and idk who to talk to. My friend is against it but I’ll explain why.

So we started talking after a school production we were in and I started growing feelings for him, but these feelings confuse me. I don't really feel that physically attracted to him, in his school uniform I think he’s quite attractive but it’s when he’s not in school uniform, I kinda get the ick, and I know its not his fault but he's also kinda... skinny and his style is kinda bad. I don't mean to be rude or anything but its just preference.

But I feel emotionally attracted to him, his personality is the type of personality I want in a guy. He also makes me feel safe whenever he's around and I always feel the need to be close to him (like physical contact).

My friend is against it bc I already told him I was ready for anything because mentally doing well and wasn’t sure of my feelings (I didn't tell him that part), but he understood and we’re still friends, but since we came back to school after break, I think we’ve both been feeling stronger feelings lately and idk.

I don't know if I'm feeling like this because I've never been in a relationship, but I have spoken to other guys before but its never felt as serious like this one. And he is constantly on my mind and it is sad to say that I haven't really been "noticing" other guys lately.

And I'm not going to start anything until I am 100% sure that I'm attracted to him

To sum up:

Im not 100% physically attracted to this guy, but emotionally and personality, yes.

Will the attraction grow?

(sorry for the long vent)

4
User Profile: Happy900
Happy900 August 5th, 2022

@LeaBeachWood1220 I am afraid, that I cannot answer, this question.

The only person, who can is you.

So sorry, that I could not be more helpful.

User Profile: sallymae3459
sallymae3459 August 12th, 2022

@LeaBeachWood1220 I say go for it and see what happens

User Profile: toughTiger6481
toughTiger6481 August 12th, 2022

sometimes when the connection is there as friends and personality ..... you may find his looks better to you the closer you become.


User Profile: confusedRaven6140
confusedRaven6140 August 12th, 2022

@LeaBeachWood1220

Have you ever felt physically attracted to someone else? If not, have you considered you might be demisexual?

Just speaking from personal experience. I'm 26 and I've been physically attracted to 2 people in my whole life. I need to first be emotionally and mentally attracted to someone before I am physically attracted to them. Even if I think they look good, the thought of physical contact or proximity with them (in an intimate way) grosses me out. So for me at least, physical attraction grows as I get to know someone more and as I become closer to them emotionally and mentally.

I don't know if this is the case for you, but it's something to keep in mind.