Advice to turn people down.
I dont want to upset anyone or be insulting with this, but im at my wits end. Im not a religious person, and thats fine. But everytime i talk to people about my issues, people will often times try to foist their religion on me.
To be clear, ive nothing against religion or religious people and i understand it comes from a place of wanting to help. But i dont know how to tell these people i really dont want to hear it anymore.
Again. Nothing wrong with it. Just not for me. Does anyone relate, or maybe some religious people here could give me some ways to say this without upsetting people or having them say something like that just proves i need it?
@ThoughtfulOrange77
I think you have a couple choices. If you know they have religious beliefs they may bring up then do not share your problems as you can assume suggestions will be offered.
If you were unaware they may bring up their beliefs just be polite in saying thanks for input and change subject. I agree if you push back or question it only seems to encourage them to tell you more.
@ThoughtfulOrange77
I am very religious but I would be just happy to hear, that you didn't believe and it didn't help your current situation to hear it. Honesty is the best policy!
We all come at things from different angles and that's fine!
💜💕
I personally would use a soft response and say Thank you for listening and trying to help me. I'm glad that you find comfort in religion and that it works for you, that's wonderful.
However for me, it's not something that resonates with me so although your heart is in the right place. I feel I would prefer not to focus on any religious aspects when it comes to solving problems or obtaining peace of mind.
I'm sure you'll respect my wishes as I respect yours.
See, ive done that (something pretty similar, atleast. Not exact wording)
And ive got mixed results. Im starting to wonder if the people who didnt accept it could be the issue instead of how i say things. I try to be respectful and let folks know i understand they are just trying to help the ways they know but a few have gotten angry.
Thank u for the words and help everyone.
@ThoughtfulOrange77 That's a shame you've sometimes gotten a negative outcome from just being polite and honest.
You don't deserve that at all. I'm not religious anymore either, so when it's imposed on me, I feel a bit put off also.
Just continue being delightfully you :)
Remember: when standing on your position re spirituality etc., you are not obligated to be polite no matter what...i.e., when someone is clearly not paying attention. Manners are nice to have but they are dependent on reciprocation. If you've tactfully told someone that you don't need his/her god & that person tries to offer it to you again...well, either (s)he didn't get it the first time or (s)he just doesn't want to listen.
If it were me, at that point I would not hesitate to tell such an obnoxious fool to go take a long walk off a short pier. You could also make your message a bit more obvious...maybe something like "what part of 'I don't want to join your cult' do you not understand?"
@ThoughtfulOrange77
It makes sense that you want to keep your space clear without hurting anyone. One thing that can help is using gentle honesty with boundaries. You could say something like, “I really appreciate your care, but I’m trying to handle this in my own way and would prefer not to discuss religion.” Keeping it about your needs instead of critiquing their beliefs often keeps people from feeling attacked.
It’s okay to protect your space, and anyone who respects you will understand, even if it takes a moment. How do you usually respond when someone brings it up now?
Its tough for me because i have a very flat affect, so i think i can come off as being rude. Its something im wirking on. Its hard for me to change my tone of voice, so next time it comes up ill try and say something like. "I understand this is important to you, and your trying to help but for me it does not." Previously ive said stuff like "no thanks, id rather not hear about that" which i think could be seen as more rude because of my facial expressions and tone issues.