Deconstructing from Christianity
My partner grew up in a part of Africa where Christianity is really prevalent due to colonisation and he’s connected to it but I can tell it actually makes him unhappy but he’s got a lot of confused feelings.
He’s looking into racial oppression and micro aggressions a lot more at the moment but because it’s something a bit newer to him he’s going through a lot with that. It’s something he really cares about understandably. It’s also something I care a significant amount about too.
His Christianity is in places putting a strain on an otherwise very good and healthy relationship. We are very much in love and happy but sometimes I don’t know how to feel when I know his Christianity which is giving us other issues is actually also a tool for his oppression too. I don’t want that for him I want him to be free from that.
Is there a way to help him with this without upsetting him or him thinking I’m just trying to forcibly remove his faith when really I just want him to think more critically about the whole thing but I understand when it’s his core beliefs and all he’s ever known it’s very hard and complex.
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@Crispapple24
I've been through this with people in my life, I've been in your partner's position too, struggling with not being able to let go of the Christian beliefs I was raised into. I get what you mean: it's hard to find a balance, offering him an alternative without imposing it to him.
What you can do is help him genuinely questioning things. Hearing questions, not arguments, was what first helped me moving out of my faith. I eventually formed my own arguments, but it all starts with questions. Make sure to ask him questions that will help him challenge everything he's learned. It will be up to him to decide how to answer, either by confirming or deconstructing the beliefs he's been taught.