I won’t let despair take over.

I won’t let despair take over.

Been there, done that and it doesn’t change anything, nor does it make me feel better.

So I choose not to ignore my circumstance, but rather, despite it, I choose not to stay in that dark space.

I know God is working, and this is not where I will stay forever. This too shall pass.

Every now and then, though, I’m forced to face the reality of it, to be confronted by the true hardship, and it can be so overwhelming that despair shows its face.

I sit in it for a moment; not enough to live in it, but enough to recognize it and let it pass.

Enough to shed the tears of the hard steps I take daily.

I don’t know how long this season of life is, but I pray that it ends soon.

It’s hard overwhelming at times.

It’s heart aching, the type of pain that makes you kneel at church and just cry.

It’s mind changing. I will never be the same again. The way I view the world and life has forever changed and maybe that’s not a bad thing.

In a few hours, I’ll be fine. The tears will have dried, and the only evidence of this moment will be the small ache in my heart that begs for relief.

I won’t let despair take over.