Threats and Manipulation

Howdy, everyone! Todays topics are threats and manipulation. Although 7Cups is a wonderful website with an even better community, we still need to be wary of people trying to hurt us or take advantage of us, both online and offline.

Part one: Threats

A threat is a declaration or intent to bring harm to someone. Someone could threaten to hurt you physically, emotionally, or sexually. Anyone can be threatened, but if you are part of a marginalized group, such as the LGBT community or the Islamic community, then the chances of being threatened or higher.

Part two: Manipulation

~Manipulation is the act of controlling someone and taking advantage of them through emotional exploitation and mental distortion. Often times the person being manipulated doesnt realize it, but you learn can learn the signs to avoid this.

~Someone who is manipulating you will use your words against you. If you confront them, they will try to make you feel guilty for doing so. Person A: Why didnt you do the dishes last night? Person B: I told you, Im so busy and overwhelmed. Why dont you ever think about how I am before getting mad at me for this stuff?!

~They try to guilt-trip you all the time. Go to that concert with your friend. Dont worry about me, its not like I deserve to go anyway.

~They try to make your problems seem less severe. You think you had a bad day? Im sorry your friend is mad at you. At least you have friends. You're the only one who will talk to me…

~They cycle between tearing you down and building you up. One day they are making you feel like the best person in the world. The next day they are calling you names and talking behind your back.

~Manipulators try to intimidate you by acting very angry when you confront them.

Part three: What to do if you are being threatened or manipulated

If you are being threatened online, then block whoever is threatening you and report them. If you are being threatened offline then tell an adult immediately. Try not to interact with whoever is threatening you if possible. If you are being manipulated, calmly confront the manipulator. Explain what they are doing and why it is not okay. Not every manipulator is aware of what they are doing, but there are plenty who are. If they try to manipulate you during the confrontation, stand your ground and do not give in. Set boundaries with the person or limit contact with them altogether.

Remember, you deserve to be treated kindly and with respect, no matter what anyone says.

Stay safe, Cups!