Resorting back to sucidal ideation
I have attempted suicide multiple times, the first being at age 11. Within the past month I began self harming, and things have very rapidly gone downhill, and got worse. My self harm (in which I cut, pinch, and scratch) has become out of control and it is a constant thought. I now have already lost control of my self harm, and it has led me to begin having suicidal ideation again, which I remember having way to vividly from before. I'm terrified about these thoughts as I know that I have acted upon them before.
Please help! Thank you!
Lottie xoxo
@inventiveSkies8917, it is good to see that you are keen to seek help rather than act on these thoughts. You can look up suicide helpline numbers and talk to them. Would you like to tell me why you are having these thoughts? Are there any triggers?
I think that it was all caused due to my anxiety mainly. I have social anxiety, that was caused, mainly due to when I was bullied. I was verbally bullied from age 6+, and it became physical from age 9-15. Things got pretty bad when I was 11, which caused me to begin feeling that way then. Now these feeling keep reappearing, as my social anxiety has become out of hand. Whenever out or when uncomfortable in a social situation, which is most of the time, I feel this way again.
@inventiveSkies8917
First off, I want to say well done for reaching out. It's something that can be difficult to sometimes and it shows real strength to say 'hey, i need some help!'.
The key words I picked up on in your post is that you're feeling suicidal. I wish I could support you with this but I, nor any other listener, is trained by 7cupsoftea to handle crisis situations. If you are feeling actively suicidal (you feel as though you may act upon your thoughts) you can always visit these sites:
Imalive-Online IM crisis chat
crisischat-does what it says on the tin!
If you're seriously at risk of harming yourself, I'd suggest calling emergency services immediately as they can offer you the best help!
However if youknow you won't act on these thoughts/don't have them anymoreand want support on your anxiety issues, we are happy to help you with that. Can I recommend the Anxiety Guide or our Anxiety Forum?
Best of luck lovely!
Thank you so much! I think I'm just so scared to actually get the help. I see a school counsellor for my anxiety and working through the effects that the bullying left on me, but I still think it's such a big thing to say, that i'm having these ideas.
I know that I should also tell my counsellor, but I'm terrified as I know that she would have to tell my parents with a topic such as this. I am trying to pluck up the courage to talk about it and tell someone in my life, or someone around me, but I think it's just so difficult to say. I feel like i'm already quite a burden with my anxiety, and I can barely walk outside my front door without having a panic attack. What worries me is that it took me 9 years before I told someone that I was being bullied, and 10 years before I opened up about my anxiety, by which time is was quite severe. I'm scared that i'll act upon these actions again. I have had the ideation for the past 6 years on and off, with attempts made, I just don't know if I will ever have the guts to talk about it to the people around me.
I feel like killing myself to but I talked to pplon here and felt a little better
This reminds me, a guest/member has no access to suicide helplines unless they are 'referred' in a group chat. I think all helplines should be made available on member portal. Right now only listenershave access to them and we have to search forum posts to find out a suitable helpline for us. I had to wait for 30+ minutes for a listener. At least if we have access to them we will be able to contact one in case of emergency instead of waiting for someone to guide us.
I couldn't agree more!
What a brilliant idea, feel free to submit this idea to the Member Suggestion Box!
