Have you successfully overcame a self-worth issue?
Have you had a self-confidence issue? A self-worth issue? And overcame it? How did you do it?
Would you tell me how to like ourselves? How to feel good about ourselves?
@BrynElea
i had these issues and yes overcame them.
Several items but number 1 is quit comparing yourself to others. No one is keeping score.
Recognize your triggers to self doubt. perhaps it is past comparison or often in my past i had people that only felt good about themselves by making others feel less than. That was a huge one for me to see how damaged those people are . It really does not matter what things look like on outside we seldom see they are as insecure as we have been or they spend too much time and energy trying to pretend they are not.
Would you share starting tips to stop comparing ourselves to others that worked for you?
@BrynElea
It would vary greatly by situation but example
My child was getting married we could contribute to wedding but had a limit. The other set of parents seems like they wanted much more. I felt like it was pushing me to compare or feel bad about a limit. It was only when I found out as my child said "They are very comfortable being in deep debt" That is when I realized they will work until death to pay for a fake "look we are wealthy" picture. Too many judge by outside picture a fancy house/ car / clothes without seeing it could be a false narrative.
Everyone has another side we do not see, Once I remember that I am no longer intimidated or comparing myself.
I KNOW who I am ( we only see things about others they want us to believe) ... I do not waste my time trying to ACT if i am something else. It is freeing.
Consciously I get it. I agree. More often than not, we don't see the reality of other people's behind the curtain.
And we usually our worst critics. Yet with all of those understanding, it's still hard...
I wasn't always like this. I was quite contented with myself. Never perfect but I didn't compare.
Then I got cheated on. Over and over. And eventually, separated.
I thought I was fine. Good riddance. But turns out I wasn't completely alright. Since then, whatever I do, whatever I see in the mirror, I still see "not good enough"
I think the cruelest thing about cheating on someone is that it potentially ruin someone else's self-worth/ self-esteem/ self-confidence.
I want to heal.
@BrynElea
I totally get where you are coming from.
When our partner does something like that or seem to lose interest in us ....... we look Inward instead of considering the problem is with them. I had something similar with partner who from medication lost all libido but I thought it was me .........I lost weight changed a lot about me including toothpaste / shampoo / clothes / hair style etc. made me feel like I was the problem.
I was angry to find out it was not about me .......they just would not ADMIT it was a them issue. Cheating can happen for many reasons but so many automatically turn it inward thinking they are not being enough for partner. do not be so hard on yourself.
Yeah... you get it..
Idk where to begin to be free again.
Now I can be in a relationship. Even with trust issue. But when marriage idea comes up, that's when the thoughts come and negative self fulfilling prophecy like "maybe I'm not cut for marriage...feelings are fleeting and honeymoon phase always ended... maybe I'm not worthy enough to fight for, they always cheat, I can't afford another marriage complication, etc"
