How to feel wanted

@Overthinker1996b

Thank you for sharing that with me. It’s really brave of you to express these feelings, and I want you to know that your emotions are valid. It’s common to struggle with self-worth and fear of abandonment, and these feelings can be incredibly challenging to navigate.

You deserve to be liked and loved, simply because you are a unique and valuable person. Sometimes, these negative thoughts about ourselves can be deeply ingrained, but they don't reflect your true worth. Building self-esteem can take time and often involves challenging those inner doubts with kindness and patience towards yourself.

The fear of people leaving can be particularly painful. It might be helpful to explore these feelings more deeply, perhaps with a professional who can provide support and strategies to address these concerns. Building strong, trusting relationships and working on self-compassion can also be powerful steps toward feeling more secure and valued.

Remember, reaching out for support is a sign of strength, and there are people who care and want to help you through these challenges. You don't have to navigate this alone.

@Overthinker1996b

Let's take a gentle approach to introspection. Maybe below might help:

1. Reflect on Your Strengths: Think about the qualities that make you unique. What are some things you like about yourself? What positive feedback have you received from others? This can help shift focus from doubts to recognizing your inherent worth.

2. Consider Past Relationships: Reflect on previous relationships where people have left or stayed. What were the dynamics? Were there specific patterns or behaviors that contributed to these outcomes? Understanding these patterns can offer insights into your fears and how they might be addressed.

3. Identify Core Beliefs: Examine any core beliefs you have about yourself that might contribute to feeling undeserving of love. These beliefs can often stem from past experiences or messages received growing up. Challenging and reframing these beliefs can be a crucial step in changing how you see yourself.

4. Explore Your Fears: Dive into your fear of abandonment. What specifically about being alone feels most daunting? Is it the loneliness, or is it a deeper fear of not being valued? Understanding this can help you find ways to address these fears constructively.

5. Set Small Goals for Connection: Consider setting small, manageable goals for building connections with others. This might involve taking small steps to engage more with people or finding new ways to connect. These steps can help build confidence and gradually shift your feelings about relationships.

Taking time to reflect on these aspects can be a meaningful part of understanding and nurturing yourself. It's also helpful to have a supportive person, like a counselor, to guide you through this process if you feel it's right for you.

@Overthinker1996b
I hear you totally. I never had a great attitude about myself, and then something happened that just tanked what little I had.  

I wish I had a good answer to help it stop- I still don't know how to either.

But what I can say is talk- try to talk here... This is mostly a safe space.  Reach out to people and just talk about silly things... just being actually heard I think will help.  And if you reach out to someone and they don't get back to you- just remember there are shy people everywhere and they may not be ready to talk... so just keep reaching.  

I'll also share this... there is a song I listen to when I'm really alone.  It is Seize the Power by Yonaka.  It's a very empowering song that tries to remind you that your little voice that keeps you safe is ready to jump out and help when you're ready. You may not be ready yet.. heck I'm not ready yet... but I like being reminded about it.

Reach out.  People will talk to you.. You are worth it.