I am a shell

The person I am today, is not reflective of who I once was. When I was younger I was much more optimistic about life. I smiled more, laughed more, made friends easily… people gravitated to me. Now, as, I get older.. it’s as if I have grown into the polar opposite. I avoid people, I chase fake dopamine and I all the time”friends” I thought I had, turned out to not be friends at all. I’m ok with being alone, but that is becoming loneliness. I miss the child who saw the world differently.