I don't have a personality

i believe I don't have personality which is a reason for my low self esteem and depression. I can say it all started from 2020 , I was an extroverted guy , I was in class 10th during 2020 , as lockdown hit , I was suddenly cut off with my frnds from like 9-10 months untill everything started but that's when I realised I was the only one cut off from literally my every single frnd i had that time , they all were in group chats , having fun during that time , it's not like they didn't had my contact, they just didn't included me ,that's when I realised how fake all were they and this was reason my self esteem began to shatter

I was forced to be introvert, i couldn't talk with anyone then , not even later in my college, highschool, I was literally spending time talking with online strangers bc i couldn't talk ppl irl , I had trust and attachment issues ever since.

Fast forward to 2023 , I moved to another city for my UG degree , I thought I will definitely change here , bc I was preparing a bit, I had started gym a year ago to get in shape , many online frnds supported me that time , , when I joined college, the main thing strike me again , I was not able to talk with anyone, especially with girls. It took me 4 months just to get noticed my a random guy in class to approach me , btw I'm good in studies so I was kinda being used by everyone in my life bc of that , his intention was same but still he talked with me , we became frnds , not just for notes but good frnds , and soon I was in group.

But still the main thing was ,I was feeling alone , lonely everytime, I live alone here I don't have any close person, I never had a gf or any much close frnd. I saw many couples around me I was jealous of them bc they are enjoying their lives where I'm struggling myself. I had online relationships , but never irl , I can confidently say I'm good enough to get any girl , but only online , im not confident enough to speak in public

Till today , 2024 , I'm still single , I just want to be feel what love is , and only thing that's stopped me is my low self esteem. I'm getting severely depressed because of this. Watching happy ppl toghether, I had several breakdowns since January till today that I must have not cried that much in my entire life , even tried offing my self once but didn't,

I have deep jealousy issues too , i get jealous even seeing two ppl fighting , like i want that too.

All of this , but one day I just scrolled through a common frnds who kinda rejected me indirectly saying she wanted someone just like me , but not me. I saw her bfs profile , i stalked him , that's when I realised, I don't have a personality, I'm literally nothing.

For example, that guy had photography as hobby, was studying computer science, had good looks , was good in talking too , I know i shouldn't compare myself to him but I was jealous for some reason.

I don't know what I'm going through, I'm really depressed i just want to talk with someone about it , what is actually a personality ? Do I have anything others would like , tbh the question is do i have anything I like ? Please can anyone relate with or help me ? I'm 20 rn , this all started when I was 16. It's been long time I'm facing all this ***