I kind of hate myself
For the past few months, I’ve been volunteering at my local library. It’s been my solace for such a long time, but for the past couple of weeks, my mental health has been on such a decline that I haven’t been going to my volunteering sessions. I’m on probation, which means I’m still learning how to volunteer, and today i got an email from the volunteer coordinator saying I will not be volunteering at the library anymore since I can’t find time for it due to my other ‘commitments’. I just read the email and I’ve been crying for about 30 minutes and just hate myself, because one of the only things that made me feel at peace is now gone, and it’s all my fault.
All I keep thinking is ‘why am I like this’ and… I don’t know. I just feel like I don’t deserve anything because I end up ruining it.
Do you think you could try to explain to the volunteer coordinator what is going on with you and that you do really want to do the volunteering? Sometimes people will surprise you and show some understanding❤️
I did explain it to her and she was extremely understanding! But she did stress that they needed volunteers that could come in regularly, especially since the library can get very busy. Honestly, the closure was all I really needed
