I’m new here and need to rant
my name is katelyn and I’m 19 years old and in college. I got diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder when I was 17 years old so I I have always struggled with anxiety and depression, also ADD and possibly ADHD. I have been struggling a lot lately and it’s really hard to tell my mom even though we are so close after my dad died. I’m currently now a sophomore in college so I know it’s going to be hard with my classes but I just feel a lot dumber than most since I came from a poorer county. I’m taking chemistry right now and I just don’t understand anything and it makes my anxiety spike up a lot in class. It doesn’t help that I have testing anxiety too so I have accommodations for testing which makes me feel even more different than I already am. I feel like my depression is now coming back as well because I don’t get to see my mom as much as I want to because she lives 2 and half hours away from my college and I don’t have a car, I don’t know how to tell her that my depression is coming back because when I first said something in 8th grade about wanting to you know what and that I had depression she said it’s all in my head and I know she means well but she just understand because she never really had a lot of mental health problems when she was younger. I just don’t know what to do because I fell like it’s all starting to pile up on everything that’s going on and I don’t feel motivated to do anything but lay in the bed but sleep. I literally have to drag myself to class or to the dining hall just to eat, my mom has tell me to get out of bed and go get sun because if I don’t have a class than I won’t leave my bed even when hungry or anything. I don’t really have any friends on campus either because every time I make friends in classes we don’t see each other anymore after that so it sucks that even when I drag myself to social events I know no one there or have anyone to talk to so I end going back to room and shutting myself in.
thank you for listening to my rant!
@doglove123 Hang in there Katelyn! I'm much older than you and trust me when I say don't worry if chemistry doesn't come easy- its only one class and this first set of topics of the semester.. This topic might not click for you, but the next one may become just super easy to you.. hang in there and don't give up... that's the key to this.. just tell the college it can't win, you will win.. you have it in you to win, don't worry.
I would suggest if you haven't done so, reach out to your class advisor (not major advisor, your graduating class advisor- there is usually a person in the deans office for each graduating class). Class advisors are your helpers and sounding boards to assist you through any challenges you have in college- challenges in classes, clubs, sports, etc.
Also I admire you for going out to social events. Personally I find that hard, so you should be very proud of yourself for being persistent. So keep doing that- it will click, but make sure you eat and get enough sleep otherwise half your energy will be wasted on just trying to fight your own fatigue- and as a person with MDD, no food and sleep just makes it feel so much darker.
Sending good vibes your way!
@doglove123
Katelyn, I'm really sorry to hear that you're feeling this way. It sounds like you're carrying a lot on your shoulders right now, and it's completely understandable that you're struggling with everything that's happening.
It's tough when you feel like you're not connecting with your mom about how you're feeling, especially when you know she cares deeply for you. Sometimes, it can help to share your experiences in a way that focuses on your current feelings rather than the past. For example, you might try expressing how overwhelming things are for you right now and how her support could make a difference.
Your struggles with anxiety, depression, and ADD/ADHD in a challenging college environment are significant, and it's important to acknowledge how hard you're working just to get through each day. Your feelings of being overwhelmed and disconnected are valid and deserve attention.
One step you might consider is reaching out to campus resources. Many colleges have counseling services, support groups, or academic advisors who can offer additional help and strategies. You don't have to face this alone, and finding a support network on campus might make a difference.
It's also worth exploring ways to make your daily routine a bit more manageable. Even small changes, like setting small, achievable goals for each day or finding a quiet, comfortable place to study, can sometimes make a big impact. And if you find it difficult to make connections, remember that building friendships takes time, and it's okay to take things at your own pace.
Please be kind to yourself. It's okay to seek help and to take time for self-care. You're not alone in this, and there are people and resources out there that can support you through these challenging times.