I've been ruined

I've been completely ruined, not by a sudden action but a gradual process of slow mental poisoning. I don't work, I don't function. I never did. I'm to the point to where I genuinely hold zero value. I feel more like a machine than a human being. My emotions don't work like they should, but they're there and that makes it hurt even more.

I'm too stupid to exist on my own. I need orders, I need direction, I'm more like a pet rather than a self-sustaining human being. I can hardly bathe myself, I need someone to take care of me. But I'm adult now, right? I'm incompetent in every way imaginable. If I could live my life being subservient pet to someone I genuinely would take it. I'm not capable of managing the burden of free will, I'm not intelligent enough to be cursed with something like this.

I was never meant to make it. My brain is incomplete, there's something seriously wrong and nobody will take it seriously. They insist I'm "normal". I'm not, not at all. I'm seriously defective, but it's not visible enough to be given even pity. And honestly, I'm probably just typing all of this so someone can give me my temporary sense of validation and self-worth. Because I've never been able to do that myself. I need validation from other people to be satisfied. As much as people say it should come from within, it just can't. At least not for me. I have to be validated by others or I legitimately am not allowed to have self-worth. I need to be told my worth, I need to be told my goals. I can't do this myself. I need someone to live for me, otherwise I give up.