Lying a lot
Hello, I have poor self esteem I feel stupid and I craft lies to make myself feel cunning and smart. I feel really dumb. What can I do? Now I'm a lifelong liar.
@lonelyaddict
Like any other nasty habit lying is something we can chose to stop. Many do not because they have told so many they do not know any longer who they said what to.
only in telling truth can you be free and build you self worth. I always found although it can be easy to lie to others ... i could not successfully lie to myself as i knew the truth...
What has the lying really got you? most people figure out liars as something does not add up.
@toughTiger6481
I am really tangled up in the web of lies, I have to jot my lies down and count them to keep track, but I don't know how to break free.
@lonelyaddict
if you want to come clean you may lose some people but in the end the group that will be ok with you coming clean are true friends ....
Put yourself in their shoes would you like to hang out with someone you either Know or Suspect the person makes up stuff over and over .... or could you appreciate a person who says "hey i have been lying and i want to quit and be truthful"
"i am sorry i did that" and insert whatever reason of your lies.... some people want to sound smarter/ more experienced or interesting.... i think to be successful in leaving lies behind you need to be truthful to yourself as to why......
MANY people know when a person is a habitual liar..... and while you may think you are fooling some ... many people just have not called you out ..... but behind your back compare notes and maybe even laugh at how far you will go to prolong a lie.... coming clean may NOT be the shock you assume it will be.
@toughTiger6481
I am really embarrassed to confess my lies, I confessed one before and everyone already knew and laughed at me... I don't want to have that feeling again.
@lonelyaddict
that feeling is something no one should want
Did you did not learn from it ? you continued to put yourself in a situation where it would happen again. like you said they already knew .... do you not think they may have discussed your habit of lying... is it less embarrassing if they are laughing and talking behind your back?
@toughTiger6481
I am afraid that they will think I stand defeated if I admit it
@lonelyaddict
Let them think whatever.... what you think of yourself is more important and i think from your posts you think very little of yourself and your behavior.
They already think things about you if they know how much you lie ..... maybe you do not care about what they think ... you just are afraid of finding out what they think.
they only person who is really keeping score in your head is you.... IF you want to start fresh and quit lying do it for YOU ... if you want to earn real friends and respect lies are not that path change for YOU not because what others might think.
@toughTiger6481
That's deep... I guess I'll change my behavior
@courageouspanda23330
I’m really sorry you’re feeling this way. It’s tough when you feel like you’re not enough and then turn to lying as a way to cope. It’s clear you’re struggling with deep-seated self-esteem issues, and I want you to know that your feelings are valid and it’s okay to seek support in addressing them.
First, I want to reassure you that your worth isn’t determined by how smart or clever you feel. Everyone has value, and those negative feelings about yourself don’t define who you are. The fact that you’re aware of this pattern and want to make a change is an important and positive step.
You might find it helpful to start by acknowledging and challenging those harsh thoughts you have about yourself. When you think you’re “stupid,” try to counter that with something you’ve done well or a quality you like about yourself. This can be difficult, but even small reminders of your strengths can start to shift your self-perception.
It’s also important to practice kindness toward yourself. Remember, it’s okay to make mistakes and it’s okay to not always feel confident. What’s crucial is treating yourself with the same compassion you would offer to a friend in your situation.
As you work on this, focus on small, manageable steps towards honesty. Start with situations where it feels safer to be truthful and gradually build up from there. This can help you rebuild trust with yourself and others over time.
Please be gentle with yourself through this process. You’re working through a lot, and recognizing these feelings and wanting to change is a significant step. You deserve to feel good about yourself and to build a positive, honest self-image.