Need some support
I'm new here. I decided to make an account because I wanted to find others who shares the same pains as me and people who are willing to listen.
There are many factors that triggered me to join, one of them being my low self esteem. Actually, I specifically joined because a really humiliating moment happened to me in class and I wanted someone to at least hear me out.
I have a fear of judgement and rejection so I don't interact with others to avoid getting judged or rejected at all. Whenever something embarrassing happens to me at school, it will be engraved in my brain and it will keep replaying. It will make me wonder what others think of me. It will encourage me to think of doing the unimaginable because I don't want to keep being seen as an embarrassment to others. I'm only alive because of my parents.
I just feel so HUMILIATEDD
Hopefully someone reads this. If not, I'm still glad I got to vent it all out.
Hi there @daehremone welcome to the community.
Experiencing humiliation in public can be truly daunting, understandable how vulnerable it makes one feel being put under the spot. Of course, you wish to avoid getting judged, or worse, rejected by people. (Who are these perfect people though that have the right to reject someone? And do we actually care about random people who aren't perfect themselves to make an opinion about us?😮)
Its okay to feel as you do. You're only human, like everyone else around you, allowed to have your feelings and emotions.
It's not easy managing a low self-esteem, but recognising it, and accepting the need to work on improving it is so courageous of you.
Embarrassing experiences can certainly make us want the Earth to open up and swallow us whole. :( (I'm only a stranger thus far, but I'm actually very very grateful you're alive, here and seeking support *offers hugs* there's support available for us, even in the most terrible kinda situations, even when our brain starts telling us there's none of it, even then~ just have to seek it out, with a little more strength and patience 🌻 you're doing that, and I *see* youu, and I'm proud of youu).
The thought spiral loop after experiencing something hurtful and humiliating can be incredibly difficult to disengage from, specially when you feel your self esteemed has hit even more because of it too, but I'm super proud of you for trying to find a safe and non-judgmental space for yourself to share about your experience, thoughts and feelings.
You deserve this space too and I'm glad you found 7 cups, where you can seek support in forums like this one, group chatrooms or for a more closed personal space, you can reach out to an available listener for a 1-1 chat. 💛
