regret
I have been carrying a lot of shame and regret about my past relationships and one sexual relationship. I often worry that my future husband will reject me if he knows about my past, and I find it very difficult to forgive myself. I was judged and ***-shamed in school, and those memories still affect me whenever I visit my hometown. Even though my life in college is much better, I keep questioning my self-worth and feel anxious that my past has ruined my future. I would like help processing these feelings, forgiving myself, and learning how to stop letting my past define me."
@independentPlum7871
No one had the right to judge you or shame you at school.
It says less about your actions and more about their immaturity.
We all spend a time in our lives exploring, getting to know what works for us or doesn't.
Some people share intimacy with a few people.
Some share if for marriage but ultimately it's a personal choice and every person knows what suits them.
We all might do things as we are navigating through life we might not do again but you don't have to live in the past, you've done nothing wrong and any future partner doesn't reserve the right to judge you but love you for you 💛
@independentPlum7871
Our past does not define us. We all have made choices we regret. high school is filled with people who may also regret shaming you too. I remember sharing a rumor about a girl in school based on nothing but whispers and changing stories.... I feel bad for joining in but honestly cannot even remember the person's name an only a fuzzy idea of what they looked like. They were immature too.
Unless your town is super small, I am sure most people have more going on than remember that one time when we picked on or shamed Plum7871? A future spouse will not dwell on past and if they do they are not worth marrying. We cannot undo mistakes we just need to forgive ourselves and move forward you are keeping this feeling alive by worry and shame or regret.
Hey, you’re judging yourself too harshly here. Let me tell you that everyone has done something embarrassing or “shameful” in their young years and the only difference is that most people brush it under the rug and don’t blame themselves for it. Also, theres a huge majority of people who have deliberately done horrible things and have no guilt or shame about their actions, who are happily married. So, if anything, the right person will not define you by your past and the wrong ones you don’t need in your life anyways. You’ll thank yourself later if you stop shaming yourself for this non existent person in your current reality.