tis my lowest low
//tw: body image stuff, diet stuff (if that aint your thing, i suggest you move on and i wish you a good day/night <3)
im so, so sick of feeling as ugly as i do. im aware that my self-esteem is incredibly low, but being around a sibling who is consistently better at everything, and is way more than i can ever be is incredibly painful. not to mention, she's, like... the epitome of beautiful. i find myself comparing myself to her at all times, to the point i dont have any sort of motivation to even TRY and play catch-up anymore. due to health concerns, my mom took me to a traditional chinese medicine practitioner, and now im on this really strict diet that ive been following for a month or so by this point, and also having to drink a really disgusting herbal tea as part of the whole regimen. i feel like a literal zombie, and not much better, and my mom keeps reassuring me that i already look "so much better than i did before". like ?? uh ?? jeez, what did i look like before ?? this sounds like really inchoherent rambling and im sorry about that ive just been really overwhelmed and scatterbrained lately
@tokkittalgi I'm so sorry you're feeling this way—it sounds like there's a lot weighing on you, and the comparison with your sibling is making it even harder. Constantly being compared to someone, even if it's just in your own mind, can really drain your energy and self-worth. It makes sense that you'd feel overwhelmed, especially with the added pressure of this strict regimen and feeling like your appearance is being judged.
How does it make you feel when your mom says things like that? And how do you feel about the changes you’ve been making—do you notice any positives, or is it mostly feeling like you’re doing it for others? We're here for you <3 thank you for sharing!