Self-Harm Recovery Daily Check-In: Monday, July 6th, 2020
Hello everyone and happy Monday!
I came across this concept of coping thoughts and it seemed like a super interesting idea! We can often be bothered by negative thoughts, overthinking situations, stressing over them and feeling like theres no way we can get through them, or that we failed, that were not good enough, beating ourselves up for things that didn't go as good as planned. All kind of thoughts which are very often wrong and which dont make things any easier/better to handle, they can even lead us to self-harm sometimes. And even if they don't, these thoughts are still harmful to our minds. So, what if we also had coping thoughts in our heads, just like we have coping mechanisms in life? These coping thoughts are here to remind you to put things into perspectives, that youre capable of amazing things, that you've successfully gone through all of your hard days and that things get overwhelming at times but they pass with time, any encouraging thought that would be objective and reminding your strengths!
1) How are you doing?
2) How was your weekend?
3) What are some coping thoughts you could make for yourself?
4) What is something cool/interesting youve learnt/done/seen lately? Anything you feel like sharing!
Feel free to share anything else in your mind! Ill be looking forward hearing from you all!
Take good care of your amazing selves, stay safe <3
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Hello!
1) How are you doing?
So-so!
2) How was your weekend?
Saturday was just average, but Sunday was sort of awful.
3) What are some coping thoughts you could make for yourself?
Im still learning to have a positive mindset, so usually the best I can do with coping thoughts is ‘qualifying negative thoughts ^^ something like, for example, if I think Im a failure, Id change that to Im a failure, but that doesnt matter.
4) What is something cool/interesting youve learnt/done/seen lately? Anything you feel like sharing!
I cant think of one right now :)
Thanks for the lovely post and the check-in! Take good care, everyone~
@Hydrangea03
I hope one day you can know how amazing you are and implement these thoughts. I hope your week gets better. I'm glad you're here
Thank you for being so supportive and comforting ^^ take good care, stay well~ @BraveAdventurer
@Hydrangea03
Hey !
I'm sorry to hear that Sunday wasn't too good. I hope today is better for you ! Sending positive energy your way ! (+ a hug if you want one ;) )
Qualifying bad thoughts is a start I guess ! I'm bad a finding positive thoughts too, so you're not alone ;) But just so you know : you're not a failure !!
Take care <3
@Hydrangea03
Heya ! Im sorry to hear your weekend didnt go so well, between Saturday being just average and Sunday being worse… if you need to let things out about it, dont hesitate, were here for you <3
Its good in a way to hear youre still learning to have a positive mindset, its not easy to get there, but willing to have a positive mindset is already an amazing step that some people dont even consider, so Im proud of you for learning and focusing on learning how to get a positive mindset! That being said, I really like your idea of qualifying your thoughts, I can imagine it takes a lot of efforts though to convince yourself that it doesnt matter but its very right, it doesnt matter. I hope that with time though you can also see that youre not a failure at all! (I like to say that people cant even be failures, actions can be failures, but people cant be failures, and if you fail at something, then yeah okay you failed but were all humans, we all fail here and there)
Thanks for checking in and sharing, take care!
Thank you for encouraging me, @LinearWaves!!! Stay well ^^
@LinearWaves
Hey :)
1) How are you doing? Better now the day is coming to an end (which is saying a lot because usually I don't like going to bed x) )
2) How was your weekend? Fantastic ! :) Good quality time with my family !
3) What are some coping thoughts you could make for yourself? I'm not good at this but I'd say that 'I've been through this once, I can do it again' or 'there's no point in tiring yourself by swimming against the current, maybe you should let it take to somewhere new'.
4) What is something cool/interesting you
@Slizzy564
Congrats on being an auntie!!! That's awesome!!
and I love the swimming analogy . So powerful!
@BraveAdventurer
Thanks <3
@Slizzy564
Hey there ! The day coming to an end is definitely appreciated, I get you ! I hope you can enjoy some time chilling before having to go to bed if its something you usually dread.
I really like your coping thoughts, thanks for sharing them! Its true that we sometimes forget how many bad times weve already been through, so for sure we can achieve a lot and go through a lot! As for swimming against the current, that comparison is really so accurate!
Wow it must have been an intense moment! Im actually wondering, do their hearts beat simultaneously? They always talk about how twins are connected with each other so that made me wonder…
Have a good day as well, thanks for checking in, take care!
@LinearWaves
I've managed to read a good chunk of my book so I'm pretty chill :) I'm actually quite happy that I could concentrate for a good hour.
It was a very weird moment for me. I don't connect well with kids so I don't know a lot about all this stuff. I was kinda in awe and freaked out at the same time. No they don't beat simultaneously, at least I didn't notice. It was a bit hard because one of the two wouldn't stop moving so sometimes we lost the beat for a couple of minutes. Fun fact though, the one that moves around a lot seems to wake up her sister and they seem to sleep at the same time. I wonder how much of their attitude will translate into their personnalities later on. It's all quite fascinating !
@Slizzy564
Yay it sounds nice that you were able to focus on reading for a while!
It would be funny if one ended up bothering the other a lot just like what happened! I have no clue either on how it works though, if there is already a personality before they
Hi there, sorry I may not be part of this community or not as I don't suffer with most others here with SH but I have thoughts sometimes when things don't go well so I'm sorry if I'm not right for this community cuz I don't suffer much as others with the SH but I just wanted to share how I deal and manage with things when gets tough cuz I experience the internal side then the external if you know what I mean. Sorry again if I'm not clear. Sorry.
Answering your questions
I'm doing ok. Been working today. Just been sorting things out with my money and finances for future. I'm trying to get back to normal now lockdown is easing in UK here. I don't know about you. Has been hard. Glad over nearly. Places opening up. My mood been up and down. I've been eatting more but I don't have problem with food I just been more hungry lol. I've heard from my sister's and nephew and there doing good. Everyone's ok I think. I'm just the same up and down. Mutual. Not sure how I feel. Ok. Things on my mind as always.
My weekend was ok and the same really but it was fine. Now the restrictions is easing I'm able to see my bf more and relax. I started working back at my job now from the lockdown and so when I'm not working I'm chilling or seeing my bf. This weekend I was setting out my finances and money with changing banks over to get better interest I did self care in that time too, I saw bf on Sunday and sorted out my new phone to get in the week which I'm excited to. I'm still feeling a bit down and lonely and times but things been ok maybe getting better. Not so overwhelmed much but work stress me out still. I'm still working out myself.
I liked your post when you gave brief description of coping mechanisms and thoughts and what we use them for to manage and cope everyday when things get stressful as I say. Too much. We all need to step back and take breather in and out. What you suggested with coping mechanisms is if I face a situation where I'm uncomfortable I usually observe how I feel, see why I feel this way and do something by what will make me feel better is that taking five minutes or talking to someone. If I feel someone isn't nice to me then I speak up now as a coping mechanism to not let anyone rule me or belittle me as ive faces from past I now take action and know when I'm not ok and I know someone's hurt me is to speak up. I also try to be in the present moment. I remind myself I need to keep taking small steps in building my confidence at work like feeling comfortable in a task I'm doing and when I feel comfortable doing that task over time I can try learning something new what pushes me. Something I know I can do. It's reminding me that ive got good qualities too and I need to show them. Not just work but with others and around people. That I'm not scared and I'm not shy as they think cuz they don't know me and wanna be me and be happy.
I don't know what I've learnt lately but there are few things over time I didn't know about work or about phones. Just conversations Ive had with others. Learn something new everyday lol. They say. I'm reading a book so learning more about mysekf each day and how best to deal with situations I'm thrown upon and to deal with insecurity and confident issues.
Thank you for your post and I really liked that. There are some other great websites out there too what can help you and give you advice and helpful ways in situations you have you find hard. I've found Mind is a good one, they got lots of helpful tips and advice. Support on other matters. ElleFriends linked to me what is a support site like this one where you can make posts and share what your doing and how you can help others to connect and reach out. Share what's on there minds. Anything whses helpful. Also The Smartians are good there a telephone service in UK and Ireland there voulnteers who listens and is there to talk through your worries and concerns. Can out things into perspective and also Wiki how which is good if you want help on a problem. You want to get advice or suggestions in anything from DIY to self Care or how to make someone's day if they feel down. Anything. It's a good site. Also if you live in UK there's The Site what is like this one again. You can talk to someone, request counselling online for free and get advice on all topics and information you want help with. I hope those help everyone and another one called Reach Out. It's American site
@TreaureSeekers3
Hey there ! Youre very welcome in this community, dont worry! Were glad to have you join and share how you handle things, its always helpful to hear about others stories and coping strategies!
Its good to hear things are getting better here you are and that youre able to figure things out work/money-wise. About your mood being up and down, do you think the lockdown easing up will help with that?
Its really nice to hear that youre able to go back to things, seeing your bf, sorting life stuff, going back to work, it must be nice to go back to a normal routine! Im sorry though to hear youre still feeling lonely and down at times, and that work is stressing you out. About work, is it going back that makes you stress, or just work itself, if you dont mind me asking?
Its really good to hear all the work youve done and the coping mechanisms that are now helping you, taking some minutes for yourself, speaking up (that one is really good!), staying in the present moment, focusing on small steps, reminding yourself of your qualities and to show them. Its indeed incredibly important to remind ourselves that okay, there are some qualities that we dont have or dont excel at, but there are some at which we are better and we definitely should show them more!
Thanks a lot for sharing all these sites/phone lines, I definitely hope that can be useful for others!
Take care, thanks for checking in!
@LinearWaves
1) How are you doing?
Okay. I've been diagnosed with COVID, so I had to be quarantined to my room. I'm kinda scared I'll relapse, especially now that I can't talk with anybody in-person.
(My brother has health issues that put him at higher risk, so I have to stay in my *previously* shared room.)
2) How was your weekend?
Absolutely horrible. Once I got the word, it's all "Ew, you should've been more careful", from my friends. Not to mention my sister moving to the guest bathroom, everything practically bathed in bleach.
Of course, I get it: COVID-19 is a horrible virus, and we need to be safe.
3) What are some coping thoughts you could make for yourself?
That life will get better, and if it doesn't, then at least I can say that to everybody that does
4) What is something cool/interesting youve learnt/done/seen lately? Anything you feel like sharing!
I watched Hamilton!
@Feathersfall
Hey there Feathers ! Im really sorry to hear youve been diagnosed with covid and have to quarantine yourself in your room. I definitely get how that would make you worry about relapsing, considering that you cant talk in-person with anyone. I hope you can figure things out though, so you can still chat enough with enough, even if it has to be on video. Hang in there, its not a fun time at all but youve got this!
Im sorry to hear about your weekend, it definitely must not have been pleasant to have people react this way to you having covid… We definitely should all be safe, but its not like we can really control getting sick :\
Thats a strong coping thought to have!
It sounds nice that you watched Hamilton, would you recommend it?
I hope you get well soon and can take that quarantine time to take good care of yourself, were here for you if anything, stay strong! Thanks for checking in!
@LinearWaves
1) How are you doing?
I'm doing good pretty tired today I slept way too much! lol
2) How was your weekend?
AMAZING! After having fun with his family for 2 weekends we finally got a weekend all to ourselves. We didn't do much but stay home and cuddle and take walks but it was literally so perfect and what I needed. 
3) What are some coping thoughts you could make for yourself?
Well I critize the way I look so I could tell myself that I'm pretty till I believe it. Also when things go wrong I blame myself and feel like a failure so I can stop overthinking and realize that it's not my fault.
4) What is something cool/interesting youve learnt/done/seen lately? Anything you feel like sharing!
I've been reading War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy, I also started making collages again. Um Oh! This saturday I've been a month clean. I also just realized this time last year my husband visited me for the first time ever and a few months later I moved here. 
@itidc
Hi ! :)
I'm happy to hear that things seem to be going well for you.
I hope your coping thoughts can help you power through the harder times. And if you want my opinion, there's no such thing as universal beauty, as long as you're comfortable the way you are ;)
I've never heard of that book, what's it about ? Collages are cool ! Are you creating anything based on a theme or idea ?
Congrats on the month being clean ! Just goes to prove how strong you are ;) Keep up the good work !
Take care <3
@Slizzy564
Thank you so much!
It's super long the place i got it from had like 13 books i'm on book 2 lol! It's a fictional story about the french invasion on Russia and how all the rich people and princes and princesses dealt with the napeoleon era. I lie it so far. No just making pretty pictures and putting quotes on it that fit the pictures honestly lol.
Thank you so much again, you take care as well.
@itidc
Hey there! It
@LinearWaves
Thank you so much, and yes for the most part I think it's doable. I may struggle a little but I really want to try to achieve it. I love to read so much i read my husband to sleep every night and sometimes I'll just sit down and read for an hour or two straight. It just makes me so happy to think it started online and ended up in the city of love and married!!
@itidc
I believe in you!
That's a very adorable story indeed!
@LinearWaves
Thank you so much!!
I agree Waves, your posts are the best and your care for each and every one who posts is evidenced by your kind and thoughtful responses. Thank you!
1) How are you doing?
I'm doing ok. My friends had an early birthday for me. It was really nice, but just a little bitter-sweet because a few of them were super trying to pressure me into drinking. Its not really their fault they didn't understand, cos I told them I was not drinking because of my diet, rather than because it makes me much much more likely to SH. So they didn't have all the information. Still, it was kind of a little hard. One of them compared me to a friend of his who refused to eat a cake his own niece had made on his birthday because of a diet. I guess they thought it was petty not to make an exception. And I was just like "I am not going to be drink pressured. Period." They don't know I have issues with SH and they wouldn't know what to do with it if they did. We're all adults, and working in a caring profession. So we're the ones who are meant to hold it together for others... Anyway, I love them, and it didn't stop my enjoyment of spending time with them. But it does cast a shadow. I'm probably feeling it more cos I'm tired, so I should sleep soon.
2) How was your weekend?
It was so nice. I spent some time at the zoo and saw some amazing fireworks and had sushi and thai food. I was away from ome and work geographically, which is the only time I can really relax.
3) What are some coping thoughts you could make for yourself?
When I find myself spiralling about how bad I am, or how bad I messed up, or something I try to re-frame: "I made a mistake", or even "I tried, but that did not go as I expected." When I am beating yself up for my past I have to reframe "I am a _______" to "I made some bad choices." I don't know if they are exactly coping thoughts.
Also "age quod agis" (do what you are doing)
"Stay focused on the present". "What do I need to do right now?"
"One thing at a time" "one minutes at a time".
"One step at a time - I can handle this."
4) What is something cool/interesting youve learnt/done/seen lately? Anything you feel like sharing!
I ended up randomly being invited to a private party hosted by people who were obviously millionaires. It was a fully orchestrated display, like 30 feet away, and synchronized with music (mostly patriotic American rock and country). People were guessing it was about $4000-5000 of fireworks. I kind of lucked out...
I'm so grateful you are all here. I feel a bit bad posting here, because I am doing better than I have been recently, and I know there are people who are really struggling. I know it has been bad, and it could be again. I am trying really hard to balance and sustain the efforts of self-care and everything to not relapse. It is a releif to be able to speak to people about stuff no one around me knows or would have tools to handle.
Trigger Warning...
When I was in the zoo I saw someone with tons of scars on her upper arms, and I felt kind of conflicted. I have my little burn scars, and nobody who saw them would ever guess why, unless they had the inclination or history themselves. And I always wear long sleeves anyway. I didn't know if I talked to someone like that, if she we would have any common ground, or if she would think I was just a poser. It doesn't matter really. They say any self-injury is a major red flag and should be treated seriously, even for a little injury. Idk. I guess that is why the group is called SHR. I guess I should just try to tell myself that my struggles are valid, even if others struggle more. Anyway, thank you all, and thanks Waves.
@1morday
Thank you for saying that, that really warms my heart to know that!
It
