Self-Harm Recovery Daily Check In: Sunday, February 10th, 2019
Happy Sunday every-amazing-one! I have really missed you all! 
How are you feeling today? :)
How has this week been to you? Do you have anything you would like to share about it? :)
What is the last thing you have done for self-care? What is one thing you could probably do now for self-care? :)
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How are you feeling today? :)
I'm really good. My ED is acting up like a lot, but I haven't self-harmed (cutted) for a month now. It feels crazy, bc I was so used to do it, but now I don't. My mood is much better too. This is the less depressed I have been in 6 years! So I'm really good. I'm so glad that things works for me now (not my ED though, but that's not that important right now).
I know my ED has run amok, but I always feel so great, when my ED is acting up. I don't really know why. I'm SO looking forward to be skinny enough to get help, bc no one wants to help a fat anorexic.
How has this week been to you? Do you have anything you would like to share about it? :)
The week has been good. I had a good, long walk at friday and a nice visit to my grandma's so I have been good. Eating has not been good, but that's the problem with being anorexic: eating is shit and you don't want it.
What is the last thing you have done for self-care? What is one thing you could probably do now for self-care? :)
I have done a lot of yoga, and working out in general. Plus I have taken at good long bath today to calm myself.
Hey there @EvilRegalsReadToo *hugs* (if you are okay with it)
It is always really nice to hear from you around here!
yay! I am glad to hear that you are doing so well with your SH recovery and I am really proud of you for being one month clean of SH. I am also just glad that you are feeling better and not so depressed in general and I do hope that things will keep improving for you like this and you will feel even better soon :)
Of course I can imagine that your ED can be still hard to deal with at times but I do hope as well that you will be able to find some help with that as well soon as you would definitely deserve it. Have you maybe tried to reach out to a professional or a counsellor? :)
I am glad to hear that your wek has been good for you. That walk sounds nice for sure and I am glad to hear that you have been able to spend some time with your grandmother as well :)
Also, yoga and some work out is a really nice way to take good care of yourself as well as that long bath! ^-^
Stay awesome!
@EvilRegalsReadToo I am glad you're doing well and I hope you keep this up. You go, Warrior!
How are you feeling today? :)
awful to be honest, sorry if i sound dramatic. the day started off with realizing i failed the exam i have learned for for 7 weeks, then i found out i am still sick and wont be able to have normal eating patterns for a year, it all rounded up by getting a text message from my abusive ex boyfriend two minutes ago.
What is the last thing you have done for self-care? What is one thing you could probably do now for self-care? :)
right now i
Hey there @dynamicHemlock1736 *hugs* (if you are okay with it)
It is really nice to have you here with us!
Aww, that really sounds like an awful day if I am honest. I am sorry to hear that you have failed on that exam after all that effort you have put into it I can imagine it has to be disheartening but, sadly, there is always some luck factor to these things as well. I do remember I have failed quite some of my exams as well and it is sometimes just unfair because on the re-tries I usually got passed them, usually easily. I mean, I do believe in that you have really tried your best and I am sure if you will be able to try it again you will pass it as well!
Also, I am really sorry to hear that you are still sick and you will still had to deal with it for an other year, it sounds really frustrating but I do hope you will get better soon - like, relatively soon anyways, until next year :)
I can imagine getting that call from your ex-boyfriend had to be really hard as well and probably really stir up some hard and conflicting emotions but I do want you to know that you do not deserve the abuse and whatever you might have been through with him is not your fault and you have every right to not to talk to him and/or tell him to leave you alone! :)
I think it is definitely a good start that you put your phone down for the time being and not texting him. ^-^
If there is anything we may be able to help you with we are always here for you so feel free to reach out to us here anytime. You are not alone in this and together we can get through this. I believe in it and I do believe in you :)
Stay strong and awesome!
@redmark
Im feeling okay today, kinda spaced out/shakey and have some urges to cut tonight
this week has been good becuse i finially feel like im getting along well with my coworkers apart from one woman who everyone hates becuse shes horrible so im not too worried lol but this week was also bad becuse i felt worse than ever about my fear of communicating my problems with others and as a result cut a lot more than ever before this past week.
i havent done much self care stuff but i guess using this 7 cups website again and posting on the fourm? i need to focus more on self care tbh i never really do it.
Hey there @Popa *hugs* (if you are okay with it)
It is really nice to hear from you around here!
I am glad to hear that you are feeling okay today although I am really sorry to hear that you have to deal with all those urges still.
Oh, I can imagine that it has to be a real big relief that you have found your place at work with your co-workers and I am really glad to hear that you are getting along like that :)
I know that it can be really stressful to get to a new place and meet so many new people and it can cause a lot of anxieties but I do hope now that you are getting along with them it will get easier for you and, who knows, you may find some people you can share your problems with later on. There is no pressure tho, just take it at your own pace. :)
I think it definitely counts as self-care that you are here and writing your feelings out and I am really glad that you are doing so. Of course, I can see that you are going through a lot right now, but I want you to know that the way you feel is always valid and important and we are here for you, you do not have to do this all alone :)
Stay awesome!
How are you feeling today? :)
Awful and I havent felt like this in ages
How has this week been to you? Do you have anything you would like to share about it? :)
My dad used to beat me and my mum so they got divorced. I was homeless for 2 months. This happened in 2017. Me and my mum moved back into the house and we are supposed to be moving out again soon. Only my dad isnt cooperating
What is the last thing you have done for self-care? What is one thing you could probably do now for self-care? :)
How are you feeling today? :)
Awful and I havent felt like this in ages
How has this week been to you? Do you have anything you would like to share about it? :)
My dad used to beat me and my mum so they got divorced. I was homeless for 2 months. This happened in 2017. Me and my mum moved back into the house and we are supposed to be moving out again soon. Only my dad isnt cooperating so we cant move house without the money he isnt giving us even though he has to. We have 18 days left until we are kicked out and I dont want to be homeless again. I cant deal with it and I want to hurt myself again so bad and Im so scared of relapsing and i dont know what to do someone please help me
Hey there @Junipip1223 *hugs* (if you are okay with it)
We are really glad to have you here with us!
I am really sorry to hear that you are going through some though times tho.
I mean, all that you have had to go through, I know it had to be really hard but I am glad to hear that now at least you are able to be away from your father even though there is a still a lot ahead of you. I wonder if there are maybe some shelters or even charities/organizations you could turn to. At least in some countries there are usually pretty good support systems in place for the victims of domestic abuse, especially women and children.
Of course I know that it can be really hard and stressful as well to reach out for such help it was just an idea anyway. I mean, I just hope that you will be able to get that money from your father quickly and you will be able to move on on your own either way.
I do want you to know tho that you are not alone in this, even if this is not much, but if there is any way we may be able to help or support you or if you would just like to vent we are always here for you :)
Stay strong and awesome!
@redmark Hey How are you?
Today has been a bit of a struggle. Kind of jittery. Thoughts are a little scattered and jumbled. A little down. Forgetful. Trying to practice mindfulness. Getting ready for more snow.
Last week wasn't too bad. Spent alot of it nervous. Made it to my appointment. Wasn't as bad as I thought. Seems like a nice guy. Had a panic attack right after I got there. Embarrassing, my shining moment. Supposed to see him again this week.
Spent most of yesterday in the woods.Not really sure if that is self care. Peaceful there. Need to get some restful sleep. Thought maybe if the dogs aren't in the bedroom, maybe it would be better. Just not sure if I'm comfortable with them not being in there. Just don't know.
Enjoy what's left of the weekend. Take care
Hey there @mytwistedsoul *offering hugs* (just an offer, no pressure but just in case you may want it :) )
It is always really awesome to see you around here!
Well, other than the usual Monday blues and a bit lack of sleep I think overall nothing too bad here, thank you for asking ^-^
I am sorry to hear that you have had a day like that, it certainly sounds hard to deal with all that especially when you know that you have to be prepared for more snow but I hope that the mindfulness has been helpful for you at least a little bit :)
yay! I am really happy to hear that you have had a good first impression of your therapist and I am really proud of you for making it as I know it was a really stressful and anxious thing to do for you but you have done an amazing job not letting those hold you back :)
Also, I do not think there is anything emberassing in a panic attack, although I am really sorry that you had to go through that because those usually suck but hopefully now with your therapist you will be able to work those out better as well :)
If you ask me a walk in the nature does definitely count as self-care. That is what I like to do as well if I can ^-^
Also, I do hope that you will be able to get some rest soon as well with or whtout the dogs in there with you :)
Stay awesome!
@redmark Hey How are you?
It's been a bit since I've been in here. Needed a break. Now I'm playing catch up. I didn't realize they held things over until you get back. Holy crap! There was a lot of stuff waiting.
I started seeing a different therapist from the first one. But this one seems nice too. So hopefully I can stay with this one for awhile.
Anyway I just wanted to touch base. Thanks.. It was nice talking with you. Take care
@mytwistedsoul It is really awesome to have you back and hear from you again!
As you can see we have missed you around a lot but, of course, it is totally okay to take a break if you ever feel like it, so do not worry about it :)
I am glad to hear that you are having an overall good experience with therapy so far even if you have changed therapist since the last time ^-^
Well, for me, it is mid-week (or mid-work-week, I guess) so as usual it is busy and a bit draining but nothing too bad going on just the usual staff. Thank you for asking :)
Stay awesome!
How are you feeling today? :) Eh, I am okay. I had not slept in 5 days...but I finally slept last night and much of today. So, after all that - I don't expect my mood to be great. I am so so so lathargic and can't seem to do much of anything.
How has this week been to you? Do you have anything you would like to share about it? :) nah, just the whole not sleeping thing...oh, and I saw the movie Green Book yesterday - was really good.
What is the last thing you have done for self-care? What is one thing you could probably do now for self-care? :) SLEEP - lol. I guess I can take a bath, wash my hair, and or watch movies and cuddle on couch - but honestly I feel so tired I don't really have the emotional nor physical energy to do any of that.
But - still NOT SHing.
Hey there @blissedNblessed *hugs* (if you are okay with it)
It is always really nice to hear from you around here!
Ow, I am sorry to hear that you are having trouble sleeping like that although I am glad to hear that you have been able to at least catch up with a little bit of sleep and I do hope that you will be able to sleep some more as well maybe tonight to recharge a bit and have some more energy for things :)
Oh, Green Book, got it, noted it down on my ever-growing to watch list :P
I am sorry to hear that most of your week was really dominated by that lack of sleep, hopefully tho now that you were able to sleep some you will be able to have a better week ahead of you, hopefully with more sleep ^-^
Sleeping is such an important thing and it definitely counts as self-care and, actually, is something I should do more as well I think overall. Also, those plans of taking a good bath and just cuddle up on your couch to watch some more movies sounds really nice as well but, of course, sleep is more important :)
Stay awesome!
@redmark
Guess what?
Ugh, Another night of of not sleeping :(
How are you feeling today? :)
meh. i was ok this morning but now im really anxious and i want to cut really badly.
How has this week been to you? Do you have anything you would like to share about it? :)
okish. ive had some really fun days wth my friends but 2 nights ago i relapsed and cut after being clean for a month
What is the last thing you have done for self-care? What is one thing you could probably do now for self-care? :)
i just had a long shower which was nice
@redmark
Hey there @panwithnoplan *hugs* (if you are okay with it)
It is really nice to have you here with us - Also, I really love that little word-play in your name ^-^
I am sorry to hear that you are feeling so anxious. I am glad to hear that you have had a good start to your day tho. Have something happened triggering your anxiety maybe? - of course, no pressure to share here, but if you would like to, I would be glad to listen :)
Oh, I am really glad to hear that you have been able to spend some fun, quality time with your friends throughout this week :)
I am really sorry to hear that you have relapsed tho. Not that it is a bad thing, it is just part of the recovery but I do understand that it can be really frustrating but, you know what, you have already showed how strong you are, and you can get back to one month and go even more. I mean, you are not alone in this, we are always here for you if there is anything we may be able to help you with as well :)
A long shower sounds really nice right now honestly. I mean, it is quite cold here so I might go for a long, warm shower (or even a bath) sometimes soon as well. :)
Stay awesome!
@redmark
Hi Red. I have been really struggling with self harm lately. I was feeling very bad about it. It is the best I can do right now. I promised a friend I wouldn't self harm anymore, so I feel that I have let them down and am afraid they will find out about my failure.
Hey there @practicalIdeal2007 *hugs* (if you are okay with it)
It is always really awesome to see you around here!
You know, the thing is, I do not think you have failed your friend.You have promised them that you will try your best to not self-harm and I know that you are really trying your best even amidst these really though times. I mean, SH is sadly a havit easy to fall back to but I think it is okay to share it with your friend, share it with them that you have tried your best and that you may need some help or just someone to talk to and just share with them as much or as little as you would like to. :)
Of course, I do not know your friend, but just based on that they were there for you before and took there time to listen to you tells me that they would probably do it again and understand it as well.
Even here, we have never asked someone to promise that they will never self-harm ever again, we are just trying to help and get people to try their best and trying to offer an alternative with SHing but never just asking everyong to stop it from one day for an other. Relapses are totally okay, part of the recovery, and I want you to know that you do deserve support still just like you have always did :)
Stay strong and awesome!
Hi redmark, thank you for creating this check in :) on a more negative note, I started self-harming three days ago. I made a promise to myself that I would never do it, and I kept it for a couple of years.. but three days ago , I broke that promise. I dont really know why or what overcame me. There was this extremely strong urge to cut, so I did. Luckily, Im not very strong when it comes to pain, so its just surface cuts that are red and bumpy with occasional peeks of blood. But Im afraid I wont be able to stop and that its gonna get deeper and worse.. Im already looking forward to it everyday :( When I look at them, I feel proud .. proud that Im surviving this internal pain Im feeling, proud that I have a way of expressing my internal pain through physical pain, and proud that I have come so far despite all Im feeling. I so badly want to talk to someone, but Im scared. Theres so much stigma surrounding it, and I dont want people to think any worse or any less of me. I definitely cannot tell my family. That is absolutely not an option. I dont want to be a burden on my friends, and they wouldnt understand anyways. Im just looking forward to self-harm now. When Im down, I remember that I can always self-harm, and suddenly I feel better because I have that option. Is it normal to feel proud of my cuts but ashamed when other people are nearby? Eeeekk I just want to feel normal and happy. I dont want to stop though :( even tho I know I should
Hey there @spicylays *hugs* (if you are okay with it)
We are really glad to have you here with us!
Self-harm is tricky because it is actually a coping mechanism. Not a good or healthy one but something that actually helps you cope and also, it is additictive, it can become a habit and that is why it is break out of it and that is why relapses happen every once in a while through the recovery which is totally normal and okay.
Without a lack of better option I can understand that you have been using this method to cope with your internal pain but you know it as well that it is not the best way to deal with it, based on what you have wrote. Reaching out to help can be really helpful but also very hard, of course. I mean, I am really proud of you for being so strong and brave and reaching out to us here!
I can understand that your family may be off-limits when it comes to this topic and I will not be nosy there but with your friends, you would definitely not a burden. I do not think so anyways. It is a strange thing but helping someone and supporting someone can actually be it's own reward at times, for me it is anyways, and your friends do care about you and, even if they will not understand it right from the get go, I am sure they would be open to listen to you and try to understand it and just having someone there with you can help a lot even if they do not do anything special other than being there.
I was trying to deal with my own problems alone - and this whole reaching out for help thing is still just a work in progress - but I have learned that surprisingly people do care even if they are sometimes not sure what to say or do and that I am not a burden - at least according to them, which I accept - and that they are willing to take their time and energy to just talk with me or be there with me and strangely enough, that helps, without anything big, just knowing that someone is out there and sometimes talking with them :)
I mean, that is my story tho, everyone is different, so it may not work for you, but it did work for me so I can share postivie experiences with reaching out for help anyways. It can be probably helpful to first try your best friend - the closest one to you, or whoever you may feel comfortable with - and just share it with one person and you do not have to go into details but do allow them to be shocked.
I mean, I do have a write up about it >here< if you are interested, tips for opening up about self-harm.
Lastly, and there is absolutely no pressure on you, if you feel like you might need professional help to help you work through your emotions and thoughts it is totally okay to ask for professional help although I know it can be scary but it can be very much worth it as well :)
Also, of course, if there is anything we may be able to help you with or anything on your mind you would like to share we are always here for you as well. You are not alone in this, you do not have to do this alone :)
Stay strong and awesome!
@redmark thank you so much for your response. I really appreciate it :)