Self Harm Recovery Daily Check-in : Tuesday, August 25th, 2020
Hello hello beautiful beings <3
Happy tuesday ! I hope the week started off well for you :)
I stumbled across a couple of optical illusions the other day (yes pinterest makes me waste quite a bit of my time !) and I like how it can relate to our vision of recovery. Sometimes we don't perceive things correctly, maybe see things darker than they actually are, one thing can become a mountain and seem so difficult to climb. These feelings are totally valid and okay but I like to think that we have ressources we don't expect to have, positive aspects of our life that maybe we don't see straight away, energy that keeps pushing us forward. We all see thoe world through our own lense. Sometimes it can be foggier, less clear, distorted, etc, but that doesn't change the fact that there's some good in all of this.
Check-in questions :
1) How are you doing today ? Did the week start off good or not so much ?
2) What do you see in the picture ?
3) I mentioned seeing the world through our own lense, if you can, describe your lense and how it affects your vision of the world.
Song recommendation of the day : King by Lauren Aquilina
Thanks for checking in, I can't wait to read your replies :) <3
Click here to be added/removed from taglist
@12kirby12 @1Disawsum @1morday @24Help1 @aar10 @Accentus @AdamantlyFree @addierus @admaiorasemper @aesonnn @aestheticmaddie @Akor1 @AlexanderSpamilton @allnaturalBerry @amandaa6360 @Ambitiousthinker7178 @anabellamia1189 @anasierra @AndyKade1018 @Annabanana1014 @Antisocial5864 @Aphrodite11 @ArriaAna @arrowsgoforward @Aryspencer15 @Asher2343 @asheroo92 @AstronomySkies @AThingCalledPax @AugustaGeorgia @AuroraBorealis12 @Autismaunt14 @avagraco @aviori @awesumturtlesz @Ayeeitsnotme @babybatman @bandnerd1002 @BandNerd100201 @bear228 @becca111111 @beniba08 @Bethfarmer @BiMonk @BipolarGrrl @Birdie998 @BisexualVirgo2023 @Bittybot5000 @black1995 @Blackk1tten @BlamingParadox @Blcrss28 @blissedNblessed @Bloom97 @Boi @BraveAdventurer @bribri20 @BrokenDreamsPalace @Brokentopieces356 @Brxcken @bubblzdancr @BunnieLuv @butterflyPessimist @carefulStrings6517 @CaringBrit @CaringWater @Carrot20 @CarverT007 @CarverTea @casscub @cassie03 @Catlover456 @Centremid @Charly @Charmingbeauty55 @Chester77 @chillingwave01 @CinematicEnd @ClareWalsh @ClassicAnonymous17 @cocoafp191 @communicativeBlackberry2457 @compassionaterainbow1479 @CoNfIdEnCe1 @CoolCuke @Creativepig @Cyangrapies @Dababy9322 @Dachs @Daenerys03 @Daisy @DaysiaKelly @delicateWindow53 @demonicangel @depressedsatellite1452 @diamonddepree @DiscreetBeach2458 @discreetowl14 @dispost @Drummermattrocks @DyingPetals @dynamicHemlock1736 @earthangel222 @earthkid @easyMap6620 @Ecargrace @Ediexo @ElephantTiger1 @ElizabethEon @elle1508 @ellie455 @emily0303 @emmadancer @energeticApricot2459 @Eny0 @epitium @Erato @Evanora @EvilRegalsReadToo @exuberantRaspberries1213 @fairmindedRaspberries1389 @FallenStar2 @farahadell @Feathersfall @Flornhope @FloweringBunny @fluffystuff @FranklyMaple @franky2OO0 @FrenchMarbles @fullm00n @funfettifrosting @funnyAcres8364 @funnybanana4728 @Gagaintheroom @gayisok101 @generousKiwi8190 @glowingKiwi @Godsbae @GoneLikeAnAngel @Greenbean232 @Greg40 @grej @HannahO11 @Hannasweet16 @happydays447 @Hashib22 @healinghearts0718 @HelpfulAid @heyitsalli @HeyItsMish @HiddenShadows @hockey8628 @Hope2come @humorousBeing8966 @HunHansGirl @Hyacinth22 @Hydrangea03 @IfKpopWasPunk @ilysm044 @imthewalrus @Independenttangerine @IndigoRoses @InkyOwl @IntellectualCake @intellectualCake2509 @intellectualHuman6814 @IntelligentWheel627 @Ismokereed @itidc @Itinerarium @ItsReganingRain @Iwannaliveanddream @Jamie14 @Jenny34 @JGfirefly @JinglesJudy @JohnCephas @juddskittycat @justkeepswimming7301 @JustThatAlien @KaidinJ @Kassy7cups @KayaBearz @kgyt0918 @kindDay278 @Kiwi16 @Krispykitty12 @laicrose @LauraB1996 @leaveearly2716 @Lexloveslife @Lilbabygirl @limegreen002 @LinearWaves @listenermegs @live2die1 @liztheloser123 @Logybear @LooneyArtimus @LostInTheWorldT @Love4all525 @LoveableLesbian @LovelyAnathema @Lovelydovee @lovelyplumeria @LoveYaGod @LycheeBoba @Madaraismyspiritanimal @Maddheda @Mads @mads00742 @magicalBraveheart537 @MandaGPanda @marala11 @mariaquiiroga @Marissa1031 @mayaaaaaaa @Maypanic11 @melancholyk @memelord500 @minitigriss @MinMIn922 @Mint123 @Miraculousiris31 @miraculousKoala374 @Misfitzombie012 @MJLV98 @modestCat9806 @modestVase1408 @Moosewithducks @msishihab @MysteryAnn @mytwistedsoul @navyBlueberry2704 @NevaehRose @neverendingwaves @Nola1818 @noselfesteemloser101 @notanange @notmyselftoday @NotQuiteBlue @novareckenstein153 @optimisticNectarine3923 @otto123 @Outoftear @Overflowing103 @panwithnoplan @patientVillage6413 @Peachkitten5883 @Penguin5921 @peoplej1997 @PessimisticHuman @PGP30 @pinkThinker6194 @plushOasis77 @politeHouse5612 @Popa @porter2927 @positiveTurtles @pumpkinpi @PunkyKitty @purpleButterfly24 @purplesnail @QueerChristianTeen @Quietcat2549 @quietHemlock7880 @quietman4875 @quietTalker1488 @QuirkyAnne @RabbitTangerine @rainysierra27 @RALC20589 @raspberryMoon5394 @rationalComputer3503 @RAWR3 @ReallyNotOkay @rebecca947 @Redhawk6547 @repeating @rexpeter99 @RiverHudson1 @rlpsgf @rosenova1513 @Roseutopia @rosewater10 @SadAFSeth @Sadgirlforever @SadUnicorn5270 @sailorelix @SaintClrStudent @samgroves02 @Sana6399 @Saskianite @sewmachine @Sewmachine @sgraceroe @shadowmothhh @ShadowTag @shymelody @Shyone7834 @SilentWeather @sillyavocado @SimpleMe12 @SisterRaven @Skafa1214 @Skyla @Skyy0 @Slizzy564 @slytherinstarling123 @smolecho @Snowangels48 @Softhearted975 @softlysolitude @soniatel @SpaceyCasey @starkmechanic3000 @StarWarsFangirl @stellaadaviss @stellaluna04 @Stitch8989 @straightuplance @strangebagel @StrangeClarity @strawberrmilk @Survivor108 @TeresaGreninja91 @Textingpals @TheAtticusFinch @thebermuda @Thegirlwithabrokensmile @TherealJake @TheWeeb @Tommy38 @Totallovatic @TransWolf @Truth22 @turquoisePine1459 @twentyonepilotsclique @Twitch98 @Twotonnetable @Veerlexm @viciimperium @vikingwolf802 @VividDreamer @Waveywoop @WhiteWolfIdiot @willowgreen22 @Winterisnotmyseason @WitchySalem @WonderfulHart1330 @Xirin @XwonderlandgirlX @Yovela @Zammn @zebrasarcastic
@Slizzy564
Wow I really loved reading this check in!
1) How are you doing today ? Did the week start off good or not so much ?
I'm doing well actually! My week is off to a wonderful start
2) What do you see in the picture ?
I can see both, but at first glance, the young lady!
3) I mentioned seeing the world through our own lense, if you can, describe your lense and how it affects your vision of the world.
My lense is actually never the same! Some days I see this world and think how oh how did I end up with all that I have, and all I can think about is how lucky I am for everything I see. Some days I think why oh why do all these bad things happen to me, and I can only think and see the bad. It all depends! It can really be tricky though!
@lovelyplumeria
Hey there :)
Thanks <3 I have to say I'm pretty proud of this one :)
It's nice to hear that your week has started well ! Is there anything in particular that has made it so good ?
Nice ;) I see the old lady first, I took me a couple of minutes to find the young lady !
Oh wow, I love your answer ! It's kinda like a kaleidoscope then ? Depending on the day, it changes colour :) I bet it's tricky, I guess it can be a bit frustrating on the more negative days when you know that sometimes you can see the positive in your life. Though I'm happy to hear that you see the good in life, even if it isn't everyday. I mean I think it's pretty normal for things to not always be perfect, happy, etc, that's just how life is.
Thanks for checking-in, take care <3
Check-in questions :
1) How are you doing today ? Did the week start off good or not so much ?
I am not great. i was very close with my pet and he died last night. I have to bury him today - I have been putting it off. I also found my parents divorce papers and found out the real reason they divorced...and it is horrible. I do not know how to think or behave around my dad when he comes to visit now.
2) What do you see in the picture ?
a lady , all fancy with fur
3) I mentioned seeing the world through our own lense, if you can, describe your lense and how it affects your vision of the world.
perspective! lenses, yes, it is ALL about that, for me. When I am super down or any negative emotion ( not negative, but uncomfortable) it's my cue to ask myself, what lense am i using.
just a shift of perspective changes the way i see everything, even myself.
my lense is multiple - i have depression lense, victim lense, hopless lense...
but i also have a empowered lense, a lese that makes " bad" situation become lessons, lense that uplifts me...it all depends on...whats going on and how i want to change it.
Song recommendation of the day : King by Lauren Aquilina
I will listen to this song, thanks. I am always looking for new music.
@blissedNblessed
I'm so sorry to hear about your pet. Having to bury him is really tough, I hope you're not alone to do this. We get really attached to our animals, they're there everyday with us so when they go it's truly heartbreaking. I hope he didn't suffer too much. Sending hugs your way <3 As for your parents, I could only imagine how horrible it is to find out the reason they got divorced. It seems totally valid that you see your father differently now and I understand that it's hard to ajust your behavior since he's become a 'new' person. I'm sorry to hear about all this, sounds like a rough start to the week ! Hang in there and if you need to talk we're all here for you <3
Do you see a young lady or a granny ?
Oh ? I'm happy to hear that you enjoy today's topic :) I like the idea of multiple lenses, changing the way you see things depending on the day, your mindset, your feelings, etc. I have to say your empowered lense sounds so cool and pretty magical too ! Changing the bad into good sounds very uplifting indeed :)
You're welcome, it's my pleasure :)
Thanks for checking in, take care <3
@Slizzy564
i see a young lady
but i can see the granny too - but first and most prodominantly, the young lady.
i did have someone with me when i buried him, we both put flowers down on his grave.
i feel so so so so alone though - i try to reach out to friends and they are not there for me.
maybe i attract narcassists, who know.
all i know is that NONE of my friends would give me time to really talk about what i was going through - it is all about them. talk talk talking AT me ABOUT THEM.
i honestly do not know what to do or how to handle this all alone.
plus, bc of my pet, i have this constant pit or hole in my stomach...this constant pain.
i am crying my eyes out right now bc i am just so alone.
@blissedNblessed
Oh right, I see the granny first :)
I'm glad to hear that you had someone with you when you buried him, I'm sure he'll appreciate those flowers <3
I'm so sorry to hear that you're feeling lonely and can't find someone to support you at the moment. People can be pretty self centered sometimes and it's tiring when you keep trying to reach out and no one answers ... We're here for you ! You can post anytime and we'll answer or you can connect with a listener if that suits you better but yeah we're here for you <3 If you just want to vent or get it all out, you can write a post and tag me, I'll answer okay ? It's so tough dealing with loneliness, I understand how devastating it can be. Hang in there and don't hesitate to reach out to us <3 Sending tons of hugs your way !
@Slizzy564
you are so so kind.
thank you so very much.
yeah it is unbearabley hard to deal with this lonliness.
and the thoughts like, well, whats wrong with me that makes ppl want to treat me like this :(
i dot know if its the lonliness or loss of my pet...but i always have this stomach ache and this knot in my tummy - and this hole in my soul
@blissedNblessed
You're more than welcome sweetheart <3 I know what it's like to feel totally lonely and have no one to talk to so really don't hesitate to reach out :) There's nothing wrong with you, it's just that sometimes we meet people who don't click with us, we're all different so that makes bonding all the more complex. Sometimes we happen to find the right people and sometimes we don't. They don't know what they're missing out on ! As for your stomach ache, it could be due to your emotional wellbeing at the moment, hopefully it'll pass. I'm sorry I don't have any advice for stomach aches to give you. Though I do hope that the hole in your soul slowly start to fill itself with new experiences and emotions. It make take some time and that's totally fine, one step at a time, one day at a time and progessively we'll move on, together okay ?
i dot know if its the lonliness or loss of my pet...but i always have this stomach ache and this knot in my tummy - and this hole in my soul
@Slizzy564
thats just it - we do click and bond. i have been friends with them for years. they call me sister by love, not blood.
yet at the same time - they just are so self centered they are unable or choose to, not be there for me.
but this is not just my friends now, its almost always been like this for me in my life: me giving and giving, yet not recieving.
i think i thought for a while that if i was the one togive 100% and make them the center of attention, then i will be able to be good enough to hav a friend.
well, F that!
And now I am so so angry at them for just going on and on about themselves...again, today - no question if im okay, no mention of me at all - just about them and thier lives. ugh.
i am so angry.
i am debating on just getting rid of my friends bc i cant take this anymore and i deserve better.
but i honestly worry that if i do get rid of them, then i will never have any new friends and i will be alone foreve.r
@blissedNblessed
Hum I see, you've been friends with them for a while but it's always been a unbalanced relationship. Whether they choose or are unable to be there for you is a hard question. In a way if they really don't realize what they're doing maybe it'd sooth the blow a bit but I guess either way the result is the same. Have you tried bringing this up with them ?
As for giving and never receving, although it's a very noble way to live, it means that a some point you'll have nothing left to give. Just as you tend to only give, some people tend to only take and don't know/want to give back. Sadly a lot of people are pretty self centered and I'd say that our society conforts them in that position. Your anger is justified, don't get me wrong, but I'd like to ask you what can this emotion teach you ?
Getting rid of your friends is a decision only you can take. Though I do agree that you deserve better ! Just know that either way, you're bound to find new people, maybe not straight away, maybe it'll take time but at some point you'll find new people along your way.
@Slizzy564
i have brought this up to their attention - multiple times before. they will ask me questions about myself a few days - then go right back to just being all about them.
now one of them wants me to go pick up and hang out with her family member who is going to be at a train station in a city semi close to me - but with covid19 - i am terrified to do it. i told her so - but she still thinks i am going to do it. so tonight i HAVE to tell her in certain terms, no. i figure, if she dumps me as a friend over this - we were never friends to begin with . she knows im terrified of getting covid19 and going to places high risk in my already high risk state.
good question! what is this emotion of anger i have in response to this teaching me"
i would have to say: it is saying that i feel i deserve to be treated better and that these relationships are not healthy for me.
knowing this though, im still afraid ill never have friends again.
i kow from the past when i dumped all my toxic friends then had no friends for a period of time eventually had friends again - that my fear is unfounded. i will not be alone for the rest of my life.
but because i have no job right now and im not in school or anything or doing anything - im just home all the time, i have nowhere to meet new friends. so - that is a real fear: that i will not have friends again...or at least for a really long time.
but again, from the lesson of my emotions: it might be better to not have them then to constantly feeling less than or angry at this situation.
@blissedNblessed
I'm sorry to hear that even though you brought this up with them, that it didn't make things change. That sounds tough and can lead to wondering if they really were listening in the first place.
As for your friend that wants you to pick up her family member, you seem to be prioritizing your health first and that's totally understandable. I hope you manage to get that 'no' through to her and that it doesn't affect your relationship too much.
Those thoughts are very good lessons to learn from this situation. Ending a toxic relationship can be tough on us, it's hard to cut the links that we form with others, especially if it seems irreversible ! Though like you've said, these relationships don't seem very healthy and you do indeed deserve better.
The fear of losing all relationships seems to be something that is holding you back from taking this decision. First of all, you decide when you make this decision and you don't have to cut off all of your friends at the same time. Each relationship is different, therefore it has it's own timeline and story. I understand that being at home can be an other obstacle in this decision, I can relate to that really well. After all human beings aren't meant to live alone, we always search for company. I tend to think that there is something very instinctual about researching new relationships and wanting to be part of a group.
Those are wise words ! It's nice to see that you have a pretty good grasp on what these relationships entail and what emotions they create.
@Slizzy564
thats a great thought , your are so right - i am in charge of which friendships i let go of and when.
i think i am letting go of one now...or at least, not counting on her or expectig contact from her on a daily basis anymore.
i am keeping another but making sure to keep butting in MY life stuff too in the convo.
im sure ill make friends again at some point....heh, i hope
thanks so much for listenng to me and writing back and for with me.
i was in a really dark spot and you really helped push me back up.
thank you so much.
<3
@blissedNblessed
So often we think of letting go as something that has to be done quickly, suddenly, etc. There's nothing wrong (at least I don't think so) in letting go slowly, at your own pace, in your own way. You're unique so the way you go about things is also unique ;) I love how your worded 'keep butting in my life stuff too' ! And sure you do that if you feel the need to ;) I'm sure you'll make some new friends at some point ;)
You're welcome, that's what we're here for ! I'm glad to hear that this helped you and now you're in a better place ! If need be, you know where to find me :) <3
@Slizzy564
Hey thereee!
1) How are you doing today ? Did the week start off good or not so much ?
I felt calm. My week started rough getting lazy with my studies, but it's alright now.
2) What do you see in the picture ?
I saw a young lady with a white monster trying to bite her head.. x) okay, okay just a young lady I mean. Hahaha
3) I mentioned seeing the world through our own lense, if you can, describe your lense and how it affects your vision of the world.
The first thing I can see with my lense are imperfections, flaws, disadvantages, doubts, and mistakes. As a result, my vision in the world is black and white, believing that there's no ultimate good nor evil. There are reasons why people behave that way, no matter how desirable or disgusting they can be in our eyes.
Wow, that's a good song! I heard that in an anime music video (amv) before. I bet you love music. You seem to know a lot of songs.
Thanks for reading. :)
@LovelyOrangeJuice
Hey there :)
Good to hear the week picked up even if it didn't start so good ! Feeling calm is a very soothing emotion :)
Haha you can see whatever you want to see, that's the whole point of the post ;) I hope she doesn't get eaten alive !
Oh a black and white lense, sweet ! Very true, there is no ultimate good or evil, it's nice to be reminded of that now and again ! And yes people do have their reasons for their actions even if it doesn't necessarily make sense to us. Wise thoughts there ;)
I know right ? It came up in my suggestions while I was doing my yoga x) And you're right I do love music, music is my best friend :)
Thanks for checking in, take care <3
