What if (TW - self harm)

Trigger Warning - Self harm and ***



What if I waited one more second,

What if I didn’t take that pencil sharpener at that exact moment,

What would you have done?

Would you have actually hurt yourself?

Would it all be my fault,

I don’t care if you’re mad,

I chose to save you,

Because I knew if I didn’t,

You would’ve gone too far.

I don’t care if you never speak to me again,

because I still would do it,

Even if I knew you’d be mad.

I knew if I didn’t send that email,

I may have never seen you again,

So, I’m glad I did,

I would do it again if I could,

Because I knew without that email,

You would have done it; 

That's true.

I have already lost 2,

So I knew,

I couldn’t lose you,

I knew,

You wanted to.

When I took that pencil sharpener away,

You gave me these eyes that had me filled with guilt,

Your eyes told all of what you planned to do,

But I knew you would regret it,

I knew you would.

But I knew if I gave that pencil sharpener back to you,

I’d be the reason you could.