I am scared

@JanusPi Hello, I'm really glad that you reached out, and it takes a lot of courage to share your feelings and struggles. I'm here to listen and offer support.

First and foremost, congratulations on your journey to staying clean. That's a significant achievement, and you should be proud of yourself. It's understandable that you're afraid of going back to your old ways, but remember that you've already shown tremendous strength and determination by staying clean.

I'm truly sorry to hear that your mental health is deteriorating, and you're experiencing urges to self-harm. These are signs that you might benefit from professional help. It's important to reach out to a mental health therapist or counselor who can provide you with the support and guidance you need.

I'm also sorry to hear that you've been keeping your struggles hidden for so long due to the fear of being misunderstood. Please know that seeking help and sharing your feelings is not seeking attention; it's a brave and necessary step towards healing and well-being.

You don't have to go through this alone. There are people who care about your well-being, listeners and professionals who are trained to assist you. Consider reaching out to a mental health hotline or a therapist, and don't hesitate to lean on any supportive friends or family members you may have.

You're not alone in this, and there is hope for a better future. Please prioritize your mental and emotional well-being. Take care 💚

@JanusPi

You could draw instead of scratch, and that can help with subconscious too- the drawings will catch your eye and youll be reminded and might even be compelled to add more to the drawing instead of cause yourself pain?