Not sure what I'm doing
My name is Taylor and I'm a 30 year old woman who relapsed a year ago after a huge trigger and a domino effect of memories. I haven't met anyone my age who self harms. I honestly feel like I have no one to relate to in my life. I have a beautiful fiance but I feel as if there are things I can't tell her because she wouldn't understand/I'm protecting her. She is amazing and trustworthy. I just feel like what I'm going through is beyond words she tries to find because she doesn't know what to say. It's not her fault at all and I still unconditionally love her, she can't understand because she doesn't really know a lot about self harm. I don't know what I need, I just know that I'm going through a lot. I do see a therapist twice a week but I don't feel like she truly understands either. Those are the only 2 people in my life. I kind of closed a lot of people out. Long story with that. I'm not sure if there is anyone out there to relate to but I'm still trying.
@Tayy2295
🙏🏻
You Are Not the Only One to Feel This Way 🫂
It is natural to feel pain and distress after a relapse. When we are unable to find people around us who experience what we have been going through, it can become difficult to connect with them, which may leave us feeling isolated and alone. Sometimes, during painful moments, our mind begins to believe that we are the only ones experiencing such struggles. However, many people face similar challenges, even if they are not immediately visible around us.
It sounds like you may be holding many of your emotions inside to protect your fiancé from distress. Wanting to protect someone you love is very understandable, but carrying everything alone can sometimes make the pain feel even heavier.
One helpful step might be to start sharing small parts of what you are feeling with her when you feel comfortable. When we share our emotions with trusted loved ones, it can help relieve some of the pressure we carry within ourselves.
You may also consider discussing with your therapist your desire to connect with people, communities, or support groups where others are facing similar challenges. Connecting with people who understand these struggles can sometimes help reduce feelings of isolation.
You have already taken important steps toward healing by continuing therapy and by sharing your thoughts and feelings here. Healing often happens slowly, but every step you take moves you closer to relief and emotional strength.
Be gentle and patient with yourself during this time. You deserve your own love, compassion, and care while you move through this difficult phase.
Healing Is Possible. Sending healing vibes on your way 🫂💕 🪄✨
Thank you so much for your kind words. I appreciate them. I do know that there are others who have gone through similar things, but it would be helpful to have someone to talk to.
I am holding back a lot from her. It does take a toll on me but at the same time, I'm embarrassed of my trauma and it feels easier to keep a lot inside instead of trying to explain it.
I have shared small parts with her but I stopped when I realized that it started making her see the world differently.
I can try talking to my therapist but I feel as if I can't share everything with her either. I have tried support groups and they are more anxiety causing than anything.
Having patience and love for myself is a road I feel is impassable. I have been trying but it doesn't look like a bright road in all honesty.
Thank you for the good vibes 😊
I am a 34 yr old woman who just stopped self harming. I also have a wife who doesn't know what to say. I am really close to my wife and family but they love me so much that I don't feel right talking to them about it. My family thinks I stopped in my twenties. My therapist has helped me find a lot of replacement behaviors but sometimes I feel too intensely to substitute anything for self harm. Ive had some new thoughts and insights and I'm pretty sure I'm done with injuring but I could be wrong. We seem to have a lot in common I would like to message with you.
I am a 34 yr old woman who just stopped self harming. I also have a wife who doesn't know what to say. I am really close to my wife and family but they love me so much that I don't feel right talking to them about it. My family thinks I stopped in my twenties. My therapist has helped me find a lot of replacement behaviors but sometimes I feel too intensely to substitute anything for self harm. Ive had some new thoughts and insights and I'm pretty sure I'm done with injuring but I could be wrong. We seem to have a lot in common I would like to message with you.
@fairmindedCucumber3571 Thank you for your response. It's a difficult situation and I'm sorry that you are going through things too. I would love to message with you. Feel free to send me one. I havent been on here in a little while because I had hit a rough patch.
