SH is affecting my relationships
I’ve been with my girlfriend for a year and a half, and she’s become a huge part of my life—my whole routine revolves around her. I’ve struggled with my mental health for a long time, and recently I ended up self-harming again because things just got too overwhelming. It’s not the first time, and in the past she always told me to tell her when it happens so she could help me through it. But I’ve always been scared to tell her because I worry she’ll eventually see me as too much and leave. I have serious trust issues, and usually she has to push me to open up.
This time, though, I finally trusted her enough to tell her on my own without being asked. But instead of comfort, she told me she had a panic attack and couldn’t handle it. She said she loves me, but if the relationship is going to continue, I need to get professional help because she can’t be the only one supporting me. Hearing that crushed me, because I trusted her with something I never feel safe sharing—and now it feels like I was right to be afraid.
(Summarized my long ah paragraph with gpt sorry it's so AI😭)
@Aem9340
i have a lot of trust issues too and find it extremely hard to let people in or trust them specially with sharing my feelings and stuff so i can relate with how difficult it must've been for you too and specially the SH stuff....it's the most difficult to open up about ... must've taken a lot of courage and im so proud of you buddy 🥺
you can totally ignore this but if you can consider a 2nd pov..... I want to share something I feel... sometimes our luv ones need to use a lil bit of tuff luv approach only for our betterment... while her phrasing of the relationship to continue only if you get professional help might feel very harsh and made you feel more anxious.... it wasn't wrong of her to bring up the professional help... that's a very caring thing to do... to encourage you to seek professional help and get better... it would've only been nicer if she could've been more gentle and phrased it in a non-threatening way to you... but that's also the thing ... sadly most people don't know what to say or how to react when we share about our struggles... hearing your luv one tell you they SH can be a painful experience... she panicked and understandably :( neither of you are at fault oki💕 mental health and emotions can be complicated sometimes...🥺
if you two do care about each other and want to work through this... maybe try talking more openly again about how her reaction made you feel and that how you would have wanted her to respond... it's ok to share that... people learn and grow in luv...nobody's perfect or always aware about what they should say or how to react... but we can be patient and try to communicate that... if your partner is caring enough...I have a feeling she'll be open to learn and support you in your language making you feel safe and welcome with all your emotions and struggles ...while you are patient with her and support her too 💕
I am in a similar situation, and I have a question: When you have mentioned self harm prior to the incident where she panicked, how has she helped/ offered to help or support you?
I hope you get the help you need, and I hope everything works amazingly with your girlfriend!
