sh and like talking abt it? TW
so i’m not too sure how to like, talk in here but i read some of other people’s and it gave me inspiration. i sh like, a lot, and i think about it every single day. i keep track too like of the days, im not sure why either cause i don’t have a therapist and only two people in my life know i cut myself. and really only one person knows the extent to it sorta. idk if i would say i use it to cope? like im not sure if that’s the right word but i do it whenever i need my thoughts to be quiet, “pain in the body quiets the pain in the mind”. or liek whenever im really upset, or guilty, or anything like that about anything, if i can’t handle it i cut. and im afraid to reach out to the people that know cause i don’t want to attention seek or be a burden, and i also don’t want them to tell my parents. so i don’t really know what to do. i don’t want to have these ugly scars, and have to hide myself all the time. i don’t want to be unhappy. but at the same time i don’t really care anymore? i just don’t know what to do really. i feel like the only place i can reach out without burdening them is 988, and they told me to try this out, so here i am. does anyone have any tips or anything? is that how is works? i’m sorry if that was too much
@ihateyoujoker
Thanks for sharing. And thanks for the trigger warning.
You can share whatever you like here, however you like, as long as you are considerate of others. And by putting a trigger warning, I can see that you are.
I'm sad to read how you feel you have to hide this. I'm sad because I believe the hiding is part of the problem. But I can totally understand why you feel the need to hide it! Not everyone can hear it and that makes it unsafe to share. I hope you can feel safe sharing here.
I'm no expert. My knowledge only comes from my own experience of self harm. And I'm a big believer in the fact that everyone is unique and needs to find their own way. But I can tell you what works for me, if it is helpful.
The biggest thing for me was recognising that at the base of everything, was feelings that weren't being expressed. These feelings drove everything I was struggling with: the monsters in the dark, the self harm and all. I learnt that I was afraid and ashamed of many feelings, like anger, guilt and fear, and that caused me to hide them.
I learnt to validate my feelings. And then to share them and through that, gradually they affect me less. Its a long slow messy process. I found that many people can't handle messy feelings and made things difficult. But I also found lovely wonderful people who can handle messy feelings and helped me immensely.
I wish you lots of lovely wonderful people in your life.