(trigger warning: description of harm) i miss it so much
i just have to get this off my chest. i'm so tired of holding off on cutting or distracting myself from the urge or destroying cardboard with my blade. i want to cut my skin and i want to do it every time i get stressed. i miss seeing the blood fill the little white spaces and i miss how it felt daring to go deeper because of how angry i am at myself; how much i hate myself. i promised someone i'd stop, but i did it again a few weeks later and never told anyone. as of now i'm a little under 3 weeks clean, and sometimes i think it'd be fine if i just started cutting every day again; i already broke my promise, right? i barely know how to use this site; please lmk if i'm breaching any guidelines i may have missed
Hey. Sorry hearing about your struggles. Im happy to hear you were able to stay clean for about 3 weeks clean. Even this shows youre strong and you can pull trough.
About the promise. You should change your mindset here. You dont stop sh for someone.
You stop for yourself.
So even if you broke their promise it doenst matter. Set yourself a promise and keep that. Thats the inportant one to keep not the one you say to others.
And about your sh.. hope you are safe rn. If the urges come again try to cope. Idk youre angry? Scream in your pillow, kick it or boxk it. If youre sad do sth to cheer you up. A song u like? Or a hobby of yours.
What im trying to say is, cope. Might not work for some but its worth a shot.
You matter!! <3
Hope youll get better asap
@sociableKiwi2053 I think what you're doing right now...venting your feelings honestly and openly is a huge step in the right direction. I find that trying to hold all of these emotions inside contributes to heavy, overwhelmed feeling. I completely understand the feeling of "why does it matter if I already broke my promise?" But you've got to understand that's like saying, "because I broke my finger, I'm going to cut off my entire hand". Just because you had a minor setback doesn't mean you have to completely destroy yourself. You have to just keep riding the wave. When it gets too hard to ignore it by yourself, call a friend, take a walk...get away from anything that would tempt you to harm yourself at least long enough for the intensity of the urge to die down.