First time you ever experimented with self-harm?
I started to 6 years ago when someone very close to me died. I have been trying not to for a while now.
I'm proud of you🍀
I only started about 2 weeks ago. I used a cuter at first, but then I got a hold on a Art Scalpel.
I just like the thrill of it and in relation to me trying to purge and not eat, its been the first thing to show any effect. That's why I like it (I think). I want to see blood running down my body but I haven't been making very deep cuts and I have to place them strategically so that no one can make the connection. If I knew that I couldn't be send to a psychiatrist/ hospital I would tell somebody but I don't trust anybody to keep it to themselfs. That's how I landed here.
@7thAngelBerry - Welcome. We hope you feel safe here.
It was one time when I had been feeling so low. I felt really useless and I felt like nobody liked me or cared. So I got a small screw driver, I cleaned it, and ran it up and down my thigh. It was more of a scratch. No blood, but it was a weak moment of mine. I couldn't feel when I had done it, and I didn't know what happened. I haven't done anything since, but I think I'm too cowardly to do anything..
I started about 2 years ago. I was in a really bad place, everything in my life seemed to be bad, I didn't know who I can trust, I hated myself, I hated the school I was going to, I hated people at my school... I kept losing people and I thought it was all my fault. So one day I picked a razor and cut my thigh for the first time and it was liberating. And I loved the feeling...
I'm glad to say I didn't cut since August 14th last year
It started 6 years ago when I was severely bullied for my weight.
I started cutting in Grade five . My stepmom was calling me worthless and saying she hated me and she choked me . I decided if i couldnt die , i would cut . I tried , it hurt .. but i loved it . I still do . My longest time clean was like a month . In november of last year , i had to call the cops on my dad because he was beating me so bad . I started cutting again . right now , my arms and legs are covered in cuts and scars .
The first time I cut, I was afraid to. I picked up a knife and would gently scrape it against my skin. It wouldn't cut but it would irritate my skin pretty back. It wasn't until I experimented with blades from sharpeners that I started getting worse. I would cut all over my wrists and arms. I remember feeling amazing and alive once blood flowed out all over my arms. I'm glad to say that I'm clean now and have retired my blades. (i had a funeral for them and threw them away)
@That1unicornqueen - Funeral for your blades - good idea! Won't you please share more about this. I'd like to know.
What would you like to know?
Did you just throw them away or did you bury them? Was it just you or did you have "witnesses" ? Did someone say something? Was it impulsive or did you plan it? Was there some kind of ritual or ceremony? Those kinds of things.
@That1unicornqueen - I see I didn't tag you, so I don't know if you got my questions, so I'm tagging you now, because I would really like to know more if you are willing to tell.
The first time I ever experienced self harm I was 8. To be honest, I dont know why I did it.... I just did. I only did it twice, but I remember it happening. Then, at 11 I had something beyond traumatic happen and I thought "hey, cutting, why not?" ever since Ive done it every single night to get some relief.
It was probably like 9 months ago now, I was hurting really bad inside and it was one of my first bad depression days. I had these little mini exacto knives, and i was sort of playing with one, and i just kind pressed it a little into the back my thumb, by about the the 5 time, i drew blood. Since then ive done it one my wrist once, then i moved to my ankle, and now i do it on my hip as its the easiest to hide...
I started when I was 11. So, 10 years ago. I was bullied by a guy in my class and he told me what many other kids in my class told me... that I wasn't deserving of their friendship. I felt so alone. I remember afterwards I felt strange. It was a mix of relief and shame. And then I tried so hard to hide it. My mom forced me to wear long sleeve shirts. I felt so ashamed. So I started cutting on my legs.