First time you ever experimented with self-harm?
The first time was over the summer. I was feeling bad about myself. And I tryed, on my ankle. I only cut once, and didn't even break skin. Then things go worse with my family. And I kept cutting. Now it was on my thigh. My friends found out and sent me to my guidance counselor. I stopped for a while and put on smile. But now I'm falling apart and my thigh is a mess. I cut for the first time in school today, a deep cut on my left thigh. I don't want to stop. And that scares me. I just wish I could find something else to do when I want to cut
Have you heard of the app stem4? Idk if it will help you, but it's designed to help you 'ride the wave' of self harming. It gives you alternatives for when you want to harm, ways to comfort yourself or release the feelings in a better way. It doesn't always stop me from relapsing, but it has helped me a lot, and i thought I should let you know.
@compassionateLychee8039
Drawing on myself helps me sometimes. But I also repierced my ears 2nd hole after they had healed up and that's a lasting pain that helped me cope. You can also try donating blood or plasma, you'd be saving someone's life in the process so no guilt there. Or if you're old enough get a (well thought out) tattoo.
I hope you can find something that helps. You're stronger than you know.
Well...
Men shouldn't cry, don't they? So when my parents were getting divorced and I was like 12 y/o I decided I won't cry.
My mom cried. Alot. I musn't. I soon discovered that when eyes burned sinking nails in your skin quickly calms down. After some time it was even... Enjoyable.
When I fell in love for the first time I've sinked in hard. Too hard. She dumped me two days before my 17th birthday. After like 3 months. And she said she's in fact lesbian. Pitiful me.
Then I discovered things sharper than my nails. Now I'm propably depressed, certainly unhappy, and I hardly menage not to sink any kind of blade into my body. But since october I'm holding.
Propably also will fail in like next month in spite of my physical state.
@LimeApricot You've come so far though, you can't give up. Don't give jn! If you can abstain for months, you can abstain for years. You can do it!!
@LimeApricot
I'm so sorry to hear about your heartaches. I wish I could help somehow. Idk if what I say will help but here goes.
I know it's hard and it sucks, but you're stronger than you think. Also remember that relapsing is a normal part of recovery. I will tell you from my personal experience that even after FIVE years of being clean, I screwed up and relapsed. But ya know what I did? I felt shitty and guilty for a while but then I got back on "the horse" and kept at it and forgave myself for being weak willed. Do I still struggle? Of course especially today, right this moment as I'm writing this to you, I want to go cut myself BUT I'm not giving up on you or me! We can do this!
Well for me I was always hitting myself as a kid but I didn't know that it was self harm at all. But the other tines I ever like intentionally did it and knew what it was I was 14 and I cut my ankles with a razor from a shaving razor blade . from then on it was almost a constant struggle not to cut...
I was about 13 1/2 and I had recently lost a friend to cancer, I thought it was my fault as I didn't help her or raise money or anything like that, I didn't realise I couldn't have been able to help her.
later that night I started to scratch at my arms and found a sharpener and used it to self harm on my arms.
I'm mostly better now and try to stay away from that.
I'm proud of you all
I don't remember exactly how old I was, but I do remember I was in middle school, so around 12-13 years old. For the first couple of years I didn't do it very often. I would sometimes use it when I was distressed, but it was pretty infrequent. I was also using a safety pin, so that tended to not leave any permanent marks.
When I was in high school, I started to cut more, and with other tools. First, an old pocket knife, then I went on to buy double edged razors from Walgreens. I would throw them out after a while, telling myself that I was done for good.
Now, I'm 21 years old and I cut more than ever. To be honest, I'm not sure if I want to stop. Some days I honestly think about it, but then I think of all my previous attempts to stop and I become discouraged. I guess we'll just have to wait and see.
@houseoftherisingsun27
Don't give up hope. There's always hope. You're stronger than you know. I want to cut too but instead I am here right now telling you not to do the very thing I want to do. Yes that's kinda messed up but I want you to know that you can fight this. Do yourself this kindness.
Fist time i cut i was 13. Went 12 years free of cutting until last year went another year self harm free until tonight. Its such a horrible battle
@hopefull16
You're still don't a good job! Keep up the fight love!
@Cheshire94
Thank you!
I was only 11 I used to find sharp objects like rulers and scratch my skin. One time I did it so hard it bled, and there was something satisfying about it. The other day I accidentally cut myself when I was cutting wood in school and now I'm craving self harm again but I want to actually cut this time
@StarfishRain123
Its a very hard battle once you give in. I hope you can fight the urge!!
I don't really remember when I first started and I never thought of it as such then. I was young. Started with biting primarily. Biting nails till I'd bleed and biting my skin and fingers. It was my way of relieving the anxiety and stress. Talking about emotion is never something that is done in my family, so I dealt with it myself. I still bite today, although typically not till I bleed, but enough to feel pain either constantly or for awhile.
I ended up adding scratching to my ways of relieving anxiety and stress a bit later when more sharp objects were available and easy. Around 2006 and beyond biting and scratching became my way of relieving sadness, anger, and/or to hide them better. More recently I started to wonder what more pain would feel like, so I began cutting. Now, I'm trying to decrease the cutting as it isn't so easy to hide, but it is difficult knowing what it brings me.
I was roughly 14 or 15. I was living in an abusive home and was quite literally under house arrest with no one to talk to and I cried every night and it kinda just happened and escalated until I had several failed suicide attempts. I had even written letters to the people I cared about and then I met someone who I thought I wanted to get to know before I left this world, and 6yrs later we're married with our own home, and two children.