First time you ever experimented with self-harm?
About 2 years and a month ago. I was about 15.
I was about twelve years old
I used to dig my nails into the palm of my hand when upset when little (maybe in middle school??) I don't know how I started but it has turned into biting.
I know this is crazy but I constantly would bite my knuckles. Everyday, during school, weekends, nervous or not.
I was really young, I think third grade, I would get upset when I couldn't understand my homework and I would take my shoe and hit myself with it, after a while I stopped but around 8th grade I started hitting myself in the stomach, chest, and legs. A little while ago I started cutting, I've been cut free for three weeks but it's been really hard at times.
I think I've always has a tendency of self harming, like punching or pinching myself when I was angry, but I only started cutting yesterday. I've never understood why people do such things, but as I was sinking deeper into depression, I decided to try it, to see what it's all about. And I just found it so relieving, transforming the pain inside your chest, burning and risking to explode, into physical pain. I just think it helps you let your steam off rather easily. I'm so disappointed in myself, I truly am. I still cannot comprehend I've started doing it. I've fallen deeper into depression when my very sick (mentally sick) boyfriend told me he'd started cutting again. It had been over a half an year since he had last cut, and now the clock is at 0 again. I was so healthy (mentally) before meeting him. He's self distructive and he doesn't realize he's taking me down, alongside with him. But leaving him would only mean suicide. I'm trying to be here to help him, he is so messed up, and I don't care if it means losing myself on the way. I just want him to be better, I just want him to know it's worth the journey. I'm having a rough time trying to understand him, and I'm well aware I'll never be capable of fully understanding him, and I think my subconcious decided it's easier to "become" him in order to understand everything, so I guess that's why I started cutting. It's so much easier.
I barely remember the first time I cut. It was late at night. When I woke up in the morning, I thought it was a dream until I saw my wrist reaching for a glass. Then I just broke into tears of shame. But ally the shame I felt didn't stop me from doing it again. This became a cycle for me. I quit 6 months ago, but now I am feeling urges again and I'm really scared
Well, I guess I'vebeen doing it nearly my whole life. When I was a little kid, I would intentionally step on Legos, pull a belt really tightly around my stomach, or something along those lines when I was upset. But my first time cutting, I was about 11, so mid-6th grade. It was around 3 in the morning, and I had been feeling guilty, stressed, and upset about something for weeks, maybe months. I remembered in school how when you cut, your body releases endorphins, so I did it... I've been clean for a few weeks now, though, but things are tough.
I was in 3rd or 4th grade, it started with writing bad things about myself on the mirror. The first time i cut i was 12 years old, i was fighting with my mom a lot at the time. Over the years i became addicted and now use it as an escape from emotional pain.
Im not sure when I started hurting myself because I didn't realise I was actually doing something. I must have been 14 years old, when I was either fighting with my friends or with my parents I found relief cutting myself.