First time you ever experimented with self-harm?

First time I experimented with self harm, was when I was 9 (9 years ago) after being raped for the 3rd time (no I don't know who he is, just know that he has been the same one to do such to me).

The first time I cut myself was earlier this year. I'm 15 and I've been dealing with depression for a while. When I was a child I was sexually abused and it never really cliked until recently how wrong it all was and just how messed up my head is. So at first I started cutting my arms with my finger nails, never deep enough to draw blood. But soon that wasn't enough and I needed to cut deeper. So I used a razor. The only word I know how to describe my first cut with is uphoria. I felt pure joy and relief, like I was floating. And now I'm addicted. I know it's wrong on some level, but is it really wrong? It's not hurting anyone else but me, and it doesn't hurt me - it makes me feel good. It's the only thing that brings me relief and it stops me from going further and killing myself. So my question is if it feels so good, why is it wrong?

The first time I ever self-harmed was in seventh grade when I first started dealing with depression. That was the year I also started experimenting with my sexuality and found out that I liked girls. I would refuse to go to school and pretend to stay home sick. My mother could never stay at home with me because she was always busy with work and could care less about me. I was feeling utterly miserable and depressed one of those days due to bullies. I needed a release and some part of me told myself that I should find a knife. I did find one in the kitchen and started slicing at my arm, four jagged marks made horizontally in the middle of my arm. It was an odd feeling, definitely euphoric, and ever since then I've always liked the tantalizing look of the blood when I cut.

It was sometime in late 2015. I had a gass heater in my room and a stainless steel ring. well i got the ring hot enough that it hurt when it touched my skin.. I still have the scars. that was the first scaring slef harm i did. but in July around my birthday i had started ot scratch until it hurt. I still do it from time to time though, the scratching, i really do not want it to contiue though

The first time I cut myself was when I was 13. It was a dark time for me. I lost one of childhood friends due to a car accident, people whom I considered my closest friends completely ignored me and my family fell out. I remember coming home feeling so empty and hopeless. I subconsciously scratched my arms so hard while crying and it felt surprisingly comforting. I started cutting myself because the physical pain distracted me from the my inner turmoil. I had stopped cutting for a year before I started again in high school. I told my best friend the truth and she was really shocked and disappointed in her consultsnt.

I have beaten, strangled, and scratched myself ever since I was a small child, but I didn't start cutting until I was in 7th grade.

The first time I self harmed was when I was 11. My mom had just had my brother, married my stepdad, and then we moved to a new town and I just didn't know how to cope with everything happening at once so I just shattered a picture frame and used the glass shards on my arm. I still have the scars from it, though thankfully they have faded so you can only see them if your close to me. Honestly though, if I had the chance, I would go back and stop it from ever happening. It really does become an addiction. One that you think you quit at any time but once you decide to stop, you realize that it's controlled you since the beginning.

I started self harm ounce my dad joined the military. We would come and go. As a child everything was fine, I had friends, my mom,my 2 best friends (siblings) everything was perfect for me!! When my dad decided he was goin to retire it hit me like a truck. He started limping everywhere, he complained about his body hurting so much, he screamed at night. It hurt. So when I got older around 11 I decided I needed to know if I was alive still. And I cut, a lot with a pice of glass my dad broke while he was asleep. I still have the scars on my hips, thighs, arms, shoulders, ankles, and the back of my neck.

One thing that I learned is it hurts people around you more then it hurts you. It might bea relief for you. But it hurts your family, friends, and shockingly people everywhere. Self harm isn't the way to go. Take it from me. Scars are not attractive, they are just lines in your body that you will forever be reminded of.

One day I was shaving my legs and I was extremely upset. I accidentally cut my leg and it felt good. I used scissors to cut the blade to where it was sticking out. I cut and cut while listening to sad music. The pain helped. It was super addicting and I did it all the time. The scars on my thigh are gone now but I can sometimes still see them. I stopped so my parents didn't find out but I want to do it sometimes. It was nice to get rid of pain and focus on something else for a while.

I caught onto Self-Harm when i was 13, It started as cutting & had always been that type, with a razoror sharp object that was very sharp. I done it because I was starting to get a mental illness which came upon age 14 & that was my first sign. I also had the thought of loving pain, scars & blood, so I'm like a sadist with it. I was cutting cutting every day for years, anywhere from 50 to 1000 cuts on either my arms, wrist or hands each day or night. I did it at no specific time, just when the urge came up basically. Every time i had done it i felt like i was angry for it until i did it. It is not really much of need now even though i have a severe illness. Because one day i just didnt have the urge to really do it,even though i still made a vow to myself to never do it again by saying i would just do my own tattoos or get tattoos done instead. Well it lasted for a year or two, that vow did. But then it broke & i end up doing it every now & then. And no mycuts were never deep enough for surgery or stitching, but im a free bleeder depending where ive cut. I have some scars but i really love having scars, they look cool to me.