First time you ever experimented with self-harm?
With 13 i scratched my arms open but never cut deep, the pain was just easier to take than the inside one but im sure some of you know that feeling. Now i just put my finger nails in my arm when im anxious or nervous.
Today for the first time, I'm 32, used a small penknife to scrape/cut 2 small inch long cuts on my upper thigh so it will be covered by my waistband.
@purpleLunch5871 Am really sorry to hear you felt the need to hurt yourself. What was going on for you to feel the need to do this? What feelings were around that perhaps you were struggling to cope with? Are you aware of what led to this for you? Self harm is a way of coping and is a way to self regulate feelings that feel unbearable, painful, difficult to cope with etc. The problem is its a cycle, where though it helps to make you feel better, relieved, numb, perhaps a punishment etc initially, its only a temporary solution and eventually there is the need to address whats causing someone to feel the need to harm themselves. Have you been able to share with anyone what is going on for you?
my sister was doing it and i wanted to see what she felt like so I cut my arm with a sizzors.
The first time I really hurt myself was after i graduated highschool. I rubbed the sizzors against my leg until the wound was deep enough. There was something about doing it with a sizzors i liked because it took a lot of time to do one cut. But now I have a box cutter i stole from work and I use that.
The first time I self harmed was 4 years ago. When I was 24. Depression and Anxiety's got to much for me.I was close to taking as much tablets as I could find,but I only found 6 so I cut myself.my mum found out and called the doctor out who suggested I be admitted to a mental health ward.when I got there,they said did not need to be there and sent me home in a taxi with 6 Valium
When I was 12... I would scratch my arms until there were deep red marks. But it wasn't until I was 14 that I had grabbed a razor and started this horrible addiction.
2 days ago, I heard people cut themselves to deal with emotional pain, and a few other reasons but I won't mention because I'm scared it could trigger some readers, but I didn't have a sharp enough knife so I used a sharp clean nail, but it wasn't as painfull as shooting an elastic at yourself, which I now do, and you get such a rush when you stretch that elastic all they way back!!, so much better than cutting in my opinion
My first time I was 12 which had been around 7 years ago almost 8 well growing up my dad used to beat me sometimes to the point of hospitalization well I was 9 when that started and at twelve I had a cigarette and a kitchen knife so I thought why not don't feel anything anyway. So I cut my upper arm as deep as I could half the blade had fit. Well I felt it a little but not much so I used the cigerrete I had and but my other arm. Well I actually felt that and it made the other arm hurt horribly as well. Both my mom and stepdad had full jobs so I had some time alone at the house so this had nothing to do with them. My brother and sister had there own lives friends and school work they weren't around a lot. I had a lot of alone time and so ya I just did it I stopped feeling after the third year of my dad beating me and wanted to see what would happen and I got hooked on the feeling of I guess actually feeling. So ya not the best.
I now have not self hearmed for the last almost four years I got even with my dad and I still deal with major depression but I have an amazing girl who understands and stays with me even with all my scars. So believe me I know the idea of making the hurt you feel inside go away by making a small cut or burn or poke. I get it it is tempting. I don't thing you are weak. Just try that's all I want you to get out of this I started horribly but now I look back and don't see a weak kid I see a kid who took on the world and broke it. Stay strong guys.
The first time I cut myself was the day after I turned 12, Leading up to that point it felt like all of these negative feelings I had towards myself were just bubbling up and burst out in one day. I hated myself, my personality, my looks, my inadequacy. I didn't really understand it whilst I was doing it, but it seemed to make so much sense to me afterwards. I haven't been able to stop since that first time, it's been nearly 6 years and that fact only makes me hate myself even more.
@Ady23, as you, i feel same. I have 3 months without cutting, and feel awful, there's somethimes you really want to do it, but you know is not the best choice. So you stay strong...
The first time that I started with self harm was when I was ten (Four years ago). I felt really lonely, sad, depressed because of the bullying that was going on. I felt so many emotions until the point where I would go numb. When this happend a started to pinch the skin on my arm. It fekt nice, to finnaly feels something. So then I started to scratch my arm with a blade of a siccor. And then it came to my mind to cut. It was just a small cut, really. But the feeling of it was adicting. I loved it to see my blood. But that wasn't the only reason that I strted to cut. I liked it because for once I could control when I felt pain.
Then I started to use little knifes, butterknifes for extra pain since they aren't that sharp. Then I got an execto blade. I made little cut all over my right arm. At first I thought that it didn't work, because there wasn't any blood. But then the blood came. And it felt good. Ever since then I have been adicted to self harm. Even when I don't want to, a voice in me makes me cut.
@PurplePlums, I've felt something similar. I self-harmed for the first time just a few days ago. I had come close before that, but I never actually bled. I got a shard of glass and made a small cut on my wrist. It was so refreshing to feel something-- the blood was a reminder that I was alive and I was mortal. I made a small array of cuts on my wrist. It's addicting, to the point where I actually almost look forwards to cutting myself. It's actually scaring me, but I want to find something more effective than a piece of glass... I know it's awful and wrong but I can't help it.
