Hey this is me.... (possible trigger warning)
Hey, this is me.. some call me soul or twisted, either or is fine. I am of no importance and in all likelihood, in a few minutes I won't even be a fleeting thought in your mind. I spend all my time alone. Well I share my life with 2 dogs. My rescuers. I'm not used to asking for help, I'm not used to having anyplace to turn to . I have social anxiety, so this feels twice as hard as it should. I found an bottle of Wild Turkey in a cupboard this weekend ,so, I had a few swallows of liquid courage. Hey, it's 5 o'clock somewhere right? Yeah I know it's not helping my state of mind. Especially since I'm depressed. Lay on the floor, stare at the ceiling for hours depression. Same song on repeat. Rest stop by Matchbox 20. Not sure why I settled on that one. I think it's the lyric's.. Are you listening, can you hear me.. Have you forgotten.
Today make's it 11 days since I last self harmed. It's there though, in the front of my mind. I'm trying to fight it. I can see it in my mind. I do not want to do this. I don't. But it there, you know. It's always there..waiting, lurking, stalking. I catch myself staring at my hands, they aren't my hands. I mean they are but they seem to have a mind of their own. They are not my friends today. They want to reach for the sharpest tool I own and just cut. Tip to tip.
In the fleeting moment that I might cross your mind, Maybe just send a happy thought my way.
hey @mytwistedsoul this resonates so much. Thank you for sharing.
@embroideredkoifish Hey How are you? Thank you, I'm glad you like it.
Meh- I totally screwed-the-pooch today and split on my partner. Ive caused emotional turmoil for both of us because of my black/white all good/all bad thinking. Meditation and a bath has helped.
How are are you doing today?
@embroideredkoifish You have a really unique name. I like it. I hate to say it but I had to laugh at the pooch comment.
I'm sorry to hear about you and your partner and the emotional turmoil. That must be rough. I hope you can work things out with that. I know there's alot of times that I can't seem to find a happy in- between either. It's either good or bad. Which sometimes - even when it's good it still kind of sucks. I'm glad to hear that the meditation and bath helped.
Eh - for me today is a headache and anxiety. Thanks for asking.
@NoneTheWiser @mytwistedsoul @ClassicalMe
Hey, this feels a bit strange to say directly but— you can call me M
@ThePizza Hey M! It's nice to meet you. LoL!
@mytwistedsoul @NoneTheWiser
Lol! Better head to bed now, I have to wake up really early tomorrow. But thank you both for being here and being you
@ThePizza Good night M. Sleep good. I hope you have a good day tomorrow.
Be gentle with yourself
Ignore this - it's just a test.
Anger - oh just a bit. I'm seeing things on here. People in disguise - multiple disguises - but I have no proof. But you can kind of tell by the wording and emoji use.
It really bothers me that people would just have this - god what do you call it? An urge a desire to just hurt people that are all ready hurting. People come here for a sense of belonging - not feeling alone. I don't understand how someone can be so cold and calculating to purposefully pick and choose threads with the intent to cause more harm. Makes me sick. Just disgusting to get your kicks - your thrills that way. They must really think so little of themselves and the rest of humanity to just go around and do this sh*t.
Yep definitely different disguises. I might be slow at times but I have learned to trust my instincts.
This post will be a hook in a few minutes. Just sitting on the front page. Come little fish - come take a bite.
Thought when you flagged these they disappeared? This p*sses me off. Like beyond the norm. They really need some help around here
@mytwistedsoul I think I got them all in this thread, if I missed any just tag me under the post.
@AffyAvo Thank you so much!
Anxiety is being a total pita today. Boy I just love anxiety.
The headache is a nice touch too.
I've been writing on my hands. Drew a spider where your thumb and pointer finger join. Saw it just a few seconds ago. Scared myself - thought you might get a lol out of it.
I haven't done a single constructive thing today. Well no - I guess that's a lie. Picked sugar peas. Watered the stuff in the green house.
Saw Doc Z this morning - Idk - didn't really get anything accomplished there.
So basically it's been a day - I was gonna say a crap day but hey we have sugar peas so.
New song - Noah Kahan - Save Me Thought I'd share.
@mytwistedsoul
Very fitting
Song I
@ThePizza Excellent choice M.
@ThePizza
@ThePizza
@ThePizza
@The Pizza @ NoneTheWiser Dang sorry about that.
Have you heard their song My Demons?
@mytwistedsoul
I have, it