Dating Site?
I have depression and anxiety and needed someone to talk to. The first listener who responded was nice. Next day he was saying all the right things, calling me a goddess. He was looking for a girlfriend. During conversation he would casually ask personal questions about my finances, etc.... Looks like a love scammer preying on innocent hurting victims. There should be rules for listeners!
Wow yeah they really need a rule about that asap!
Sorry to hear. Its sad men/women would prey on hurt women and men..
Screename?
Sorry I was off here for a while. [Named edited out by a forum moderator]is the listener whom I suspect to be a scammer. I couldn't figure out how to do a report. Admins definitely need to check it out. I stopped talking to him but I would hate for someone to get scammed when they're just reaching out.
Hi @Jenenpaz ! I'm soo sorry to hear you had encounter such a bad experience here, please do let us know and report this listener. for privacy and confidenciality reasons I removed the listener's user name from the forums but I'll explain below how to report themfrom a members perspective:
I'll give you some ideas on how you can let us know about this:
1-Leave a written review. After you exchange 30 messages with your listener, you will be given the option to rate and review your listener. To review them, you click onthe button with a star on itand write thespace providedhow the chat went. Reviews are screened by a team of Quality Mentors that will either approved the review so it can appear on bottom ofthe listener's profile (likethis) or would take the appropriate action to ensure quality (send a coaching email to the listener so they can know what they need to work on, etc). These reviews are anonymous and will be in no way tied to your account :)
2-If you and the listener have not exchange enough messagesfor you to review them you can then use theblock/ban button(which is the red one next to the star one).Then, you will be provided with somespace to explainthe reason of you "blocking/ reporting". Please do try to be detailed and honest in your message as we want this listener to have a chance to grow and develop their skills and also provide a safe place for everyone.
If neither of this are an option now because you cannot access the conversation (because you we block or for whatever other reason) you can also contact our community managers to let them know by emailing community@7cups.com and explaining the situation there. I hope this helps!
The rules are pretty much implied. They train us listeners how to chat with guests or members first thing. So if he was being inappropriate he already broke the first rules. Definitely report the listener. Sorry you had to deal with that unfortunatle situation.
[Named edited out by a forum moderator]
I dont know if it is the same "listener" or someone else, but that just happened to me today and his name is [edited out by a moderator]. He is posing as a wounded soldier! I cant believe someone would be soo low! He needs to be kicked off this site before he really causes problems for someone
Jenenpaz, don`t give up! We are not immuned from such cases. Unfortunately, I have unpleasant experience with online dating too (: But I didn`t give up and registered on another website (https://kovla.com/datings/us/) and the same evening HE texted me. We cannot know when happiness come!
It is important to remember that online dating is best used as a resource to meet individuals for eventual face-to-face dating. Keeping that goal in mind will prevent you from getting stuck on the drawbacks and limitations of dating sites. So, if you get confused, the best next step is always to move an interaction toward a date. If you are overwhelmed with access to too many choices, then find a way to narrow them down and find better matches. If you don't know what to do with a potential match, send them a quick communication.
I have a picture of myself with my husband and I still receive messages from men who ask way too many questions about my personal life! For example, they'll ask if I'm single, if they can have my phone number, etc ... Sometimes it can be tricky when your a listener because someone will send you a personal request to chat, and you'll think its because they thought you were a good fit to talk to about their problems.
Oh boy this is a good topic that needs discussing. Clearly this is not a dating site and no one here wants it to become one. But this problem is not specific to this site. It's actually an overall problem in therapy itself. In the world of psychology this is called attachment and transference. What it technically means is that the person talking sees the person listening as a thoughtful caring person and transfers their emotions onto them and gets the wrong impression that love is forming when it's just therapy.
Now this is just one possibility of course, that attachment forms based on the quality of the chat and the transference of the member. Another possibility is actually more sinister and that is of the simple troll setting up a listener or member account to actually look for someone to date. It's more dangerous when a listener does it because they can prey on people in need of help. I'm hoping that this later one is happening less than the former one.
Unfortunately I don't think this is a problem that is going to go away. We will just have to learn to deal with it and try to minimize the trolls as much as possible, but the first is likely to happen no matter how hard we try. As listeners we just have to be aware of it and do our best to shrug it off and move on.
I had to deal with 59 years old man.
At first he was talking all nice, giving me advice how to live my life to the fullest and enjoy it while I am young. And I respected that since he is like 39 years older than me and he is wiser and knows more about what is going on in life..
But then things went all wrong, I was being nice to him because I am like in the age of his granddaughter for god's sake xD
Evantually he sent me his private email, and I kindly told him we are not suppose to communicate with members or guests outside 7 cups.
He agreed, but still started to flirt with me.
And with the help of other listeners and their advices, I blocked him. Dx
I felt sad for that, and they told me not to get emotional or things will go worse for me, it was his birthday and according to him he was spending it all alone and was happy to find someone to talk to..but you can't misbehave with them! x_x
I still do think about it sometimes, and feel sad for him, but as a listener we can't get attached to them emotionally..
