Dating Site?
I have depression and anxiety and needed someone to talk to. The first listener who responded was nice. Next day he was saying all the right things, calling me a goddess. He was looking for a girlfriend. During conversation he would casually ask personal questions about my finances, etc.... Looks like a love scammer preying on innocent hurting victims. There should be rules for listeners!
I had a really minor catfishing incident on 7 Cups today. My mistake was going to an off-site chat, but nothing bad happened. No viruses, no request for money, no personal information exchanged at all.
I figured it out quickly because of thisuseful function of Google:https://www.google.com/imghp
It's a reverse image search which will enable you to quickly know whether the pics you're being sent have been picked up off the web elsewhere. If they have been, it'sa certainty that the person you're chatting with is not who they say they are!
(Listener details removed by forum mod Lyra)
It seems fine to choose a picture that's not really you for your avatar, no? From the reviews, it doesn't sound like that listener is misrepresenting themselves.
@Jenenpaz
Sorry to hear you had to go through that. There are rules for us as listeners, however unfortunately, rules being instated and whether or not members/guests and/or listeners follow them is something else. If you feel the conversation became inappropriate, it is best to report it. And please don't think that all listeners are the same. It's unfortunate you had to go through that, but many of us are just here to help, so please don't be afraid or let this stop you from connecting with another listener in the future.
Sorry to hear that it happened to you. It sucks how anyone can become a listener and use that for their selfish goals. By the way, I think we have this problem on both ends. Many people here are lonely and looking for a relationship/just sex. I've had to deal with numerous sex chats and some relationship offers. It would be awesome if the guidelines were clear to the listeners and the guests/members.
The next time this happens to anyone, try be clear about your boundaries. If that doesn't help, don't be afraid to leave a bad review for the listener, even block them if it comes to that. This is a loving, supportive website and we don't need that here. Happy talking :)
dating sites are also a good solution against depression, it allows to contact people poue not be depressed.
I spent a lot of time talking with people on the website
There's just not enough control at this website. When you have such a project, dealing with vulnerable people, people asking for help, there should be much more strict measures against people who violate the rules.
By the way - the listener training is also very poorly done. I've tried talking to listeners, talked to around 5, and none did what he was supposed to, according to the training.
Hey there!
I am very sorry this has happened to you with the 5 that you have talked to, and thank you very much for the feedback about the training of our listeners and the possibility of more strict rules!
I do have to say that while I disagree about what you have said about the training, that I do respect your opinion!
Some listeners need a little help, some listeners are brand new, some listeners are not aware of the rules, all listeners are human and make mistakes! :)
I do hope that your experiences in the future are great ones!
-Orange
to make matters worse, when they take action against "rule violations", they don't confirm that the listener actually violated any rules. When you merely get accused (reported), you get a "coaching email" telling you to step up your game (even when you may have done nothing wrong). If you get 3 coaching emails your account is deactivated and you are served with a notice saying your volunteerism isn't welcome here anymore. If you want to volunteer any more, you have to email them and beg the admins to restore your account.
Keep in mind, you could have 3000 successful chats, and a perfect 5 star rating, but if just 1 out of 1000 of them were trolls or psychopathic people who happened to press "report" (or even pressed it by mistake!) , your count just went to 3 and boom, you're banned from the site for misconduct.
When people question this, they cover it up and say it's more "nuanced" than that, and they say you should "welcome" the coaching emails even if you dont deserve them.
Oh, ok, that sucks!
It sucks hard. I actually also got less stars because of a guy who asked for my nude picture and I told him that I will report him. And I guess he went right up and gave me a bad rating.
And the reporting option for members definitely should be there, but there should also be some measure to decide if you've actually done anything wrong.
I mean - the admins should realize how many harassing messages a woman-like looking listener will get a day. I had 4 encounters like that in one evening. That alone is quite distressing, but if these people are allowed to rate me or even report me, then I probably won't even be here for long.
Anyway, I hope they figure out a way, because it's a good idea for a website, it just needs some serious tweeking in terms of safety and listener's training quality.
@MishaMisha CC. @dnk
I see you still have a few concerns about the reporting process, and a lot of these seem to be based on misinformation, so I'll do my best to lay out the facts for you :)
they don't confirm that the listener actually violated any rules
Coaching emails are sent out automatically upon receipt of a bad review, because member reports are taken incredibly seriously. Members' opinions are far more important than listeners' egos. If you believe a bad review to be the result of a troll, community managers are always happy to enter into dialogue about them.
If you get 3 coaching emails your account is deactivated
''If you have 5+ positive reviews, you will continue to get feedback reviews, but will no longer have your listener status put on hold when you receive a 3rd coaching moment review. This is because, we want to weigh all the positive with the feedback. If you are doing great work, we will acknowledge that.''
This is a quote directly from the thread I suggested you read. That means that a listener with ''3000 successful chats, and a perfect 5 star rating'' could not be banned, as they would have more than 5 positive reviews.
When people question this, they cover it up and say it's more "nuanced" than that
'They' don't cover up anything, the information is clearly laid out for all who care to read it :)
they say you should "welcome" the coaching emails even if you dont deserve them.
It shows you how you need to improve, and it shows that members are valued - to me, that's a win-win situation
Thank you for your honest feedback and ability to call it as you see it, that's a quality I respect deeply and always try to aspire to
