A.D.G.O (Another Darn Growth Opportunity)
I was at a conference last week at VCU. Linda Hancock presented this idea of ADGOs - Another Darn Growth Opportunity. She indicated that these are the sometimes self-inflicted and sometimes life experiences that catch us off guard. For example, getting in a fight with your boss might be a self-inflicted ADGO. Your car breaking down would be another. We are human. Difficult things happen to us and we also sometimes act in way that make things hard. Skills and re-framing help. Life, is often one problem/obstacle/opportunity after another. So, she suggests that we look at these challenges - not as problems to be avoided - but as disguised growth opportunities. A.D.G.O.s can also give us the passion to help others though similar issues.
In this thread, please share an ADGO you are facing and how you redeemed it!
I think that everyone you meet, every situation you find yourself in both good and bad presents a lesson you were suppose to complete. When I remind myself of,this, life becomes exciting because you never know what's around the corner.
@Kah1005 I agree, learning through experiences :) just like what the old saying says "Experience is our best teacher" > I am glad to hear that you look life that way :) woohoo! everyone should see it that way as well :) it's wonderful :)
@Kah1005
you said it beautifully, and I absolutely agree. Thank you for sharing that with us <3
I'm in the process of becoming a survivor of domestic violence, and divorce. I'm trying to stay focused on the freedoms I will have, all of the choices I can make for myself, and self perseverance and growth. This will be a big and long term ADGO for me.
@intelligentPenguin6474
Hi there! I'm so glad you are thinking so postive about this and feeling to remember that important things! Well done xxx You are so strong to get this far, We believe in you.
Ashley.
@intelligentPenguin6474
I can't begin to imagine how tough it must be for you. I just want to say that you are incredibly strong for being here and trying to stay focused on your freedom and choices as you said. Thank you for being here and sharing your story with us <3
@intelligentPenguin;;;
So proud of you . Yes you are intelligent > You are loved> Take it one day at at time. Remember who you are..
Lisa (loyalpenny)
@intelligentPenguin;;;
So proud of you . Yes you are intelligent > You are loved> Take it one day at at time. Remember who you are..
Lisa (loyalpenny)
@GlenM My professor of Materials Science normally doesn't like me. He somehow finds out even a tiny glitch in my performance and behavior and insults me amidst the whole class. I was feeling depresed about it for quite awhile, but I tried to avoid those little mistakes but still, he just won't let go. But this time, I'm not feeling bad about it. I just feel good that I have been transforming in a positive way, bit by bit.
@gentlegiantishere
Gentlegiant - i have a boss who does exactly the same thing. At work - all day every day! I believe you are absolutely on the right track to let it bother you less and less - KAIZEN! (That's my new motto!). Several people have insisted that he is insecure, and it was almost impossible to see that at first - it's taken six months for me to see his insecurities, and sure enough they're there! It's a very difficult concept to hold onto when someone is humiliating you in front of an entire (large) room full of people - but the fact that several people were assured that he was insecure, and said so in pretty much exactly the same words - lets me know I am not alone in this experience. And I gained a lot of strength (slowly, in a way that seemed excruciatingly indirect) from their clear ability to let the similar tactics of people in their pasts roll off their backs like "water off a duck", as they say. I've learned that it has been very very important for me to allow myself to honor myself, by focusing on my mission - which makes his bullying seem very inconsequential. And I have to direct my attention to the very strong people I'm privleged to work with and observe - and focus on them, instead of on my boss. None of these strong people would allow petty remarks like his to get in the way of their goals, for themselves, their careers, and whoever it is they'll impact when they move out into the world. And I owe all of this clarity to an amazing conversation I had with the wonderul Listener, Misho4U on this website. It was Misho's incredible incisiveness that helped me to zero in on this coping skill, and a subsequent ability to take a giant leap forward in my life! You are definitely not alone - and I've found that reaching out to others directly about issues like this here has been so helpful I can hardly believe it! I hope you'll keep us posted on the situation!
@HiEveryone1234 That was motivating and reassuring. Thank you!
@gentlegiantishere
Its refreshing and inspiring to see your perspective and positiveness even when you are going through hard time at school. I am God to hear that you are feeling better by taking bit by bit. If you ever need to decompress or need support, please do not hesistate to contact the wonderful listeners here. You deserve the support and care <3
I am dealing with a terrible breakup at the moment, and it is testing both my patience and my ability to be truly alone. I see this now as a way to prove to myself that I am the only person I need to love me. I have also learned that I need to be patient with myself when expecting change and I need to change for only myself, nobody else, or the changes just won't stick.
@Skatekeys I'd already been through the same situation, it was so hard for me to accept my flaws. I think the what helped my the most was that, everytime I saw something in myself I didn't like, I would think something I loved about myself, even if it was something small like "I can draw cats really well". It's the little things that make all the difference!
I hope you stay true to yourself and find happiness xx
@fearlessJar1329 I appreciate the advice, I think that will really help with my self-confidence!
@Skatekeys
I am really sorry to hear that you are going through a terrible breakup. I can only imagine how painful it has been with heart break. What you said about loving ourselves first is absolutely beautiful. I have always loved the quote " Inner peace begins the moment we choose not to allow others or events control our happiness" and what you said totally reminded of it. So thank you for reminding us that self love is important and necessary. <3
I'm working on dealing with modern day stress without freaking out.
@HufflepuffHaley
I think that there's a lot of stressful information /input in our daily lives to deal with so I totally understand the struggle! I made a choice to not watch news broadcasts, I'll hear about it anyway but the news is always upsetting.
One section of my life. It was september 5 2014, i was 14 or 15 at the time and i was just going to meet my boyfriends parents for the first time. The night couldnt have been better we had been bowling and it was just perfect. His parents were taking me home and unaware his mom had a drink or two at the bowling alley. It had rained alot that day while on the express way we hit a big puddle and hydroplaned. I have always been uncomfortable on express ways. I hit my head multiple times and got a bad concussion, my body was in shock, my brain swelled and i was put in a medical indused coma for a few days and was hospitalized for a week. I couldnt walk. They said i just had a personality disorder and was faking it. I was sent home then went back to the hospital 2 weeks later because i had my first seizure. I atill couldnt walk and did know who my twin or parents and sibling or myself was for months. Im now walking i have my memory back and im slowly recovering my health problems get in the way alot and im terrified of riding in a car on the express way ecspecially when it rains. Im slowly getting better
@GlenM I love the concept of AGDO's I'm going through a load of stress, anxiety, and panic attacks - and it's become an opportunity to connect better with my wife, practice my tools for managing anxiety, etc. While I'm still not enjoying the process, I'm learning and growing a lot. :)
Being in an open relationship and learning about the struggles involved with it, dealing with jealousy while learning more about your partner's needs, this is tough growth.
Three years ago,I lost someone who I really loved. I was coming here because I just couldn't accept that he was gone. I was telling people what I was dealing with and they were like 'everything is going to be fine' and I was like 'I know,but when? I want to be happy,again.'
So I never get happy again. I'm sorry,I'm starting to accept but not yet.
I thought that the darkness left me,I thought he showed mercy to me but I guess I'm wrong.
Darkness hates me so that's why he is torturing me,he is always coming back no matter what.
I'm sorry,I'm drowning.
@fyathena
Hi there, I'm really sorry for your lose. I can understand a little bit on how it feels to lose somebody close to you, But people who say 'You will be happy again' Are right, you will be! Happiness does not happen over night, As much as we love for it to, that is not how it works. It is still there you just have to go searching for it! Your welcome to messge me xx We can walk and search together.
We believe in you
Ashleyy