April 2, 2015 - UPDATES TO BLOCK/BAN in M-L Chats
For listeners, there are now 6 block & 1 ban options:
1) Block: Triggering
2) Block: Stalking
3) Block: Overly Dependant
4) Block: Requesting/ Sharing Personal Info
5) Block: Other
6) Ban: Harass/ Threatening Behavior
Note: Prior to this change, there were 3 ban options.
The reason we made this change is because we wanted to reduce the # of members & guests who are banned from our website for reasons that are not appropriate. While still providing a ban option for listeners who are in chats with truly inappropriate members/ guests. You all should continue to use the ban with care.
Here are some examples of times when you can use the ban button:
- Abusive commentary
- Trolling/ spamming the chat
- Repeatedly asking for personal contact information or personal information
We expect that you will use your best judgement here. But remember that there is another person on the other side and to use the ban with care :)
This seems great, I just have few questions.
Why are there options to block when we as listeners feel triggered? If we feel triggered that has nothing to do with the behavior of member and we should know better than to just block them.I am just afraid that this option can be easily abused and used instead of just excusing yourself andoffering to refer a chat or ending it politely.
The same goes for 'overly dependent'. I see that this is a real concern, but want to say that there is a lot of factors that have to do with relationship becoming something that can be described as overlydependent, and it I would dare argue that this is partially listeners responsibility, to set boundaries and explain how that relationship works. Also the term is a bit vague by itself. What counts as 'overly' dependent?My suggestion is that we should work towards educating our listeners how to set boundaries and put disclaimers on websitethat will give clearer explanations to members what they can expect here.
On the other hand I do not see a button for people who come to chat despite being homicidal,suicidal etc although it is 'against the rules' (if I can use that phrase).
Also, when we check 'other' option, does it give a space to explain what happened and does someone review these?
I am just afraid that some of these options can be abused and are there even though those reasons may not justify blocking a member if the issue can be resolved in a different way (refering a chat or explaining what the problem is and working on solving it or ending the conversationpolitely), especially without warning being given prior to it.
Thanks for your thoughtful feedback @Maku :)
The block options which are currently listed are based on the most common reasons that listeners often block a member. We are not trying to point people to engaged in certain blocking reasons by listing them, just easily highlight the most common items.
Triggering Chats - This is for listeners who pick up a chat and need to professionally remove themselves. Before hitting block the listener should explain that this chat topic is not one they feel safe or comfortable with. They should refer the member to another listener or the browse listeners page to find a more well suited listener. After these actions have been done, blocking them or removing them from their contact list is an appropriate next step. If the listener has clearly set the boundaries and explained to the member why they are leaving the chat, the expectation has been build and therefore a block is appropriate.
Overly dependent - refers to members who repeatedly do not respect the boundaries set up by the listener. The listener must set the boundaries and if the member is not able to adhere to these over time, this block reason may be appropriate. Of course, more education for listeners and members is a great idea and we should always help to educate our community on how to set appropriate boundaries.
Another thing to keep in mind - the member does not know which block reason has been selected. They are not alerted to being "triggering" or "overly dependent." This is a code that the listener uses to end a connection between themselves and a member and is only known by them.
For Suicidal/ homicidalchats - blocking would not necessarily be appropriate. As per site protocol - giving the referral information and professionally ending the live chat is the way to go (reminder: we have an end live chat button & the international hotline resources are not listed in the orange tab at the top of every 1-1 chats). You may want to follow up again with this member at another time when they are in the appropriate mindset for active listening.
I think there are always little moments where we can better educate and support listeners through the appropriate use of these buttons. The main purpose of this changes was to reduce the # of members who were being banned from 7 Cups of Tea. As usual, thanks for your feedback & Questions!