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Stuck between countries and a father

User Profile: unreliableaminaa
unreliableaminaa September 24th, 2021

I'm stuck between two countries. Country A is the country I livein. It has extremely expensive education with no scholarships or loans. My father can't afford it (he's the only one who earns in the family).

Country B is my home country where I've never lived before. Education is not as expensive there. The quality of education is also somewhat better as compared to A. But B is not safe for women. It is on the list of the worst countries for women while A is as safe as it can get. A is on the list of the safest countries in the world. I've gotten these info from searching these terms o google.

The point is, my father is a very afraid person. I can understand because I'm like that too. But he made me study associates online (before covid) cuz he said there was no other option. There is no one I can live with in B. Universities have separate hostels for girls but there are so many news about girls being preyed upon in hostels that he doesn't want to consider that an option.

I'm afraid too but education is important right? He can't afford here nor are there any job opportunities for non-citizens (like me) in country A.

But B is a nightmare. There are rapes literally every day and the government doesn't do anything except victim blaming. I don't have enough grades to consider any other country.

All my batch mates went to home country (B) and most of them will be graduating next year while I'm still here thinking about which country or uni to go to.

My associates was from an online university which belongs to the lowest category from my home country. My father first said to continue bachelors here. But i didn't agree and continued saying that the only options he should think about are A or B. Either send me to B and I'll complete me education while living in hostel or send me to a uni here. Online is not an option for me anymore. He called me selfish for not seeing the "ground realities" and not thinking about the rest of the family and only thinking about myself. In anger, he also said that there is no need to study more. Associates is enough. I mean, i also said some hurtful things. I was crying so much i don't even remember half of the things I said but still that line hurt me so much. He knows education is important to me and he still said that. Associates as a complete education isn't accepted anywhere. How can i even get a job with just associates. I'm sure he didn't mean it and wasjust angry at me crying but that sentence still makes me cry every night since the "fight".

I'm getting afraid for my future. I just want to complete my education, get a job so i can support my family. I'm also feeling angry at him for not saving money for his children's higher education. He knows how expensive education is but didn't plan anything for it.



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User Profile: Jaeteuk
Jaeteuk September 24th, 2021

It sounds like you're in a tough situation, torn between attending a better university and your father's feelings/expectations. Your batchmates that went back to your home country, there's women there too, right? Will they be able to share their experiences with you and your father? Just so you would both know whether it's really as dangerous as what Google claims the country to be? Or is there any way for you to find a part-time job to help with your own studies financially?

It really depends on what you want to be doing as a career, some countries do accept employees with only an Associate Degree and if you're willing to start at a lower position and work your way up, sometimes you don't even need an Associate Degree~

@unreliableaminaa