Topic: Feeling jaded to life stressors/ health issue
I HAVE BEEN Struggling with health anxiety related to an early stage health issue and did poorly on an exam because of the couple days of depression of not being able to do anything, but i adapted to it and now its normal. also ive been yelled at, tormented so much my mom and life that ive become jaded and kind of arrogant show no weakness and judge outlier people type of person. I used to be shy and care about people more and overthink. as ive become more confident i came form wondering what people think of me to judging people a lot and looking down on people thinking do i even like them. Also I haven't gone anywhere but stay home si u am kind of alone and always dreads explaining that i worked my *** off at the college to make them let me go to college club or go somewhere. IM genuinely starting to hate people and it feels like im faking my interactions just enough to get ahead. I also sometimes intentionally make lomng eye contact and dont care if im intimidating. I used to be the one that was bullied etc. I gained a very strong backbone. Also i learned some stuff about emotional intelligent and learned that its bes t to control instead of suppress emotions. also i get kind of sad about thinking of being the person always being *** on yet always have positive face(no one understands) . I'm a college freshman.
@darkluster343 - Hello. Congrats on being a College Freshman, first of all.
(also ive been yelled at, tormented so much my mom and life) ... sorry about this. If you get bullied or yelled at early in life that kind of disapproval can affect how you see yourself in the world. I was bullied growing up, disrespected. That stuff can distort your sense of self, but healing and seeing yourself in more positive light is very possible.
Social rejection can hurt but consider that the bully(s) you meet might just be having a bad day/angry at something/someone else, and are taking it out on you instead. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.
Try to find your tribe(s) where you are now: groups of people you trust that make you feel good about yourself. Good Luck.
@darkluster343
Hey! <3 I hear how much you have been carrying, both with your health anxiety and with the way life has shaped the way you relate yo people. It sounds like you've been through a lot of tough moments and it makes sense that you've built a strong backbone to protect yourself. Sometimes, when we are hurt or dismissed becoming tougher or even more distant can feel like the only way to keep going. At the same time, I also notice that you're reflecting on the changes in how you see others and that really does show your self awareness.
It's not easy to admit when you don't feel like yourself anymore, or when interactions start to feel more like 'making it' than genuine connection, so this honesty with yourself reflects strength; you car about who you're becoming, despite it feeling messy right now. You don't have to have everything figured out at once, small steps are known and they really can make a huge difference.
You're not alone in this, please remember, you can always reach out to a listener here on 7 Cups for support. We are here for you.
I wish you all the best! <3