Reaching out to teachers
Hey everyone! First of all this post's idea is completely credited to @toast048 . Thank you so much for suggesting this and thank you to all who've been suggesting such great things! If you're a teen or adult-teen listener, always feel free to PM me your thoughts if you don't want to share them publicly, but if you're an adult feel free to just drop it in a reply. I think reaching out to teachers is one of my strengths, although I used to struggle with it greatly and I would love to offer some of my own few thoughts on it.
I think it starts with accepting help. Often when we're reaching out to teachers, it might be for going over a past test or asking for some extra tips or studying help. Accepting that we need help is important so that we can proceed forward to actually doing the "asking". When we accept ourselves that we do need some help in what we're working on, we can often feel more comfortable with reaching out which makes the whole process easier! In terms of how we accept help, it's often a process of affirming and re-affirming to ourselves that we deserve help and no (good) teachers judge us for that.
But sometimes we're not asking for help! Sometimes we're asking to do internship work for a professor or to network. Regardless, reaching out takes a basic level of confidence. Confidence, obviously, is extremely broad and going in depth into how to gain confidence would be pointless. But I think confidence in oneself in crucial to talking to any person of higher authority. When we talk to someone "higher up", it easy to place our social status below them, but this is often what makes us really nervous. It's totally understandable because teachers and professors often have a lot of control over your grade and academic life. One thing to help with confidence is to try your absolute best to place yourself on the same level with the person you're talking to. This doesn't mean disrespecting them! This just means making it easier for yourself to meet them where they are at to communicate with them.
In terms of the more mechanics of reaching out to teachers and professors, it's obvious that in-person meeting is better. Although we're in the middle of a pandemic as I write this, I have a few tips to confronting teachers in-person in the future! It's always great to be respectful and to be friendly! It's also good to show that you genuinely care about what you're doing, which can be done by asking more questions or to talk about why you care about an assignment or the subject itself! When asking during Zoom office hours, the same things apply too! But before, it's also common to have to communicate via email. Emailing can be tough and scary, but it's often easier to control the environment of what you're trying to accomplish! When emailing (and also in person) be sure to be clear about what you want or need! Check your grammar and review your email a few times before you send it off too.
Overall, confidence and affirming myself about needing help has been really helpful for me, but I'd love to hear what your experience has been with asking for help!
Discussion questions:
What has your experience been with asking for help with school work from teachers or professors? Has it been overall good or bad?
What are some of the struggles you face with the act of asking for help and how can you better overcome those struggles?
What's a language you would like to learn?
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@proactive
What has your experience been with asking for help with school work from teachers or professors? Has it been overall good or bad? Overall, I've had good experiences reaching out to teachers. Most seemed to appreciate that I was taking a proactive initiative to improve.
What are some of the struggles you face with the act of asking for help and how can you better overcome those struggles? I guess I struggles with embarrassment. It's hard to admit you aren't doing well and there's some fear of being rejected. I try to remember that teachers really do want to see us succeed.
What's a language you would like to learn? I'd like to re-learn Spanish.
@PeaceLoveandPaws
Hi Peace <3 thank you for responding to my forum post! I'm so glad that you have had a good experience with reaching out to teachers!! Yes, that's an amazing point that I totally forgot to talk about. Reaching out to teachers and asking them questions shows that you care about what they're talking about and is also great for improving how they perceive you as a student. Embarrassment is totally natural and okay! I struggle with it too sometimes but I have to admit that it's something that isn't easy to get over. I hope you're taking steps to accept receiving and asking for help, you're going to be great! I took Spanish for 2 years and it was relatively easy most of the time but I'm glad that you want to get back into it. Good luck with everything and I hope you have a wonderful week!
@TheAtticusFinch Hey, thank you for creating this!
1. My experience with reaching out to teachers has always been pretty okay, but when I fall behind I am always too scared to ask them for help. Especially nowadays, it been hard to handle my large workload and do online work for college. I always end up ignoring my teacher's emails because I am too ashamed to answer them back, it is always because I am behind and she wants to help me but I don't know how she could. When I do answer her, she is always so nice and understanding, but it is always hard for me to reach back out to her. As a new college student, balancing work and school has proved very difficult for me.
2. I always struggle with replying to teachers when they reach out to me. As I said in the first question, I feel ashamed that they have to email me to see why I am behind. I have so much going on that it can make my depression and anxiety worse, and when they email me it makes everything seem so much worse than it actually is.
3. I would like to be fluent in Spanish! I took all of the Spanish courses in high school and spoke it pretty well, but since I have not even looked at a lick of Spanish all summer, I am not as good anymore. I just emailed someone from the college that I am enrolling in, to ask if I could take a Spanish placement test so that I won't have to start from the beginning again.
This post was so helpful (as they always are), and thank you for taking my idea into consideration! I hope everything has been going well for you!
@Toast048
Heya Toast! Good morning to you and I hope you're having a great day when reading this. I see that you fall short with asking for help, that's totally okay and understandable! I also have bad procrastination and anxiety with emails, Direct Messages on social media, and text messages and often can relate to that feeling you mentioned of being ashamed to answer back. Sometimes all we need is a few deep breaths and the start typing the email reply. Often the hardest thing with replying for me is starting the reply, so I think to myself *3 , 2, 1* and I try to start the email and get it over with right away. Obviously that's personalized to me and I completely understand if that doesn't work for you. But I do wish you the best and hope you find ways to over come your anxiety of emailing back to your teacher. It sounds like she's super kind and sweet as well, so maybe you could talk to her? :o Spanish is awesome! I took it for two years and I hope I can pick it up in a few years when I have more time and after I've mastered Mandarin. I hope that you don't have to start with beginning Spanish again in college!! :) Thanks for responding again <3 take care.
@TheAtticusFinch
Hi! I am new to the Student Career and Support Community and I'm glad I came across this thread and these questions sound great!
What has your experience been with asking for help with school work from teachers or professors? Has it been overall good or bad? My experience with asking for help with school work from teachers have been good overall. Most of my teachers were always willing to help me with my work or anything else. They were always open, kind, and helpful along the way.
What are some of the struggles you face with the act of asking for help and how can you better overcome those struggles?Some of the struggles I face with asking for help is that sometimes I don't want to cause I am afraid someone will judge or I will recieve feedback I didn't really want to listen to. I am very sensitive person so sometimes I take things to heart. I think I can overcome this by being more confident and try to understand that some people won't judge, as well find the right ones to talk to.
What's a language you would like to learn? I'm currently learning French but I'd like to improve more in it.
This was fun, thank you!
@healinghearts0718
Hey healinghearts, welcome to the S/C support sub-community! I'm glad you found our little corner here :) Ahhh I'm glad that you've had good experiences with asking for help from teachers. Teachers that are patient and kind with their students when they ask help is always kind.. but it's totally understandable that you are someone who takes feedback and advice to heart. I'm like that too! I think it may be because we genuinely care about what is said to us and we take it personally because we are too mad at ourselves sometimes. :( It's okay though, I think we can all learn and I'm sure you'll grow to be more confident in asking questions and being less afraid of judgment. French is such a beautiful language, I'm glad to hear that you're learning it. Take care and thank you for responding!
What has your experience been with asking for help with school work from teachers or professors? Has it been overall good or bad?
I don't usually ever ask teachers for help, but when I do it depends on the teacher I'm asking. The experience has varied widely; it's either the provision of detailed help or "I don't know the answer to your question, so... yeah."
What are some of the struggles you face with the act of asking for help and how can you better overcome those struggles?
I generally have the irrational fear of being deemed "less smart" by the teachers I want to ask for help, even though the reality is they will probably appreciate the fact that I care about their subject enough to ask for help.
What's a language you would like to learn?
I am currently working on learning Japanese, Russian, and Hindi. I hope to become fluent in all of them!
@TheGoodFairy
Hey Fairy! <3 Thanks for responding today. I think the fear of being looked at as "less smart" is so common and I can really empathize with you on that one. It's common to think that questioning something shows that we're dumb, but it honestly can also mean that we're smart enough to find a potential flaw and brave enough to point it out! I hope that you'll be able to find a way to ask teachers for help when you need it one day and I hope they don't give you a rude response. Wow! That's a lot of languages and I wish you the best of luck with all of them. My friend is learning Japanese as well hehe. Take care!
@TheAtticusFinch
What has your experience been with asking for help with school work from teachers or professors? Has it been overall good or bad?
I'm grateful that I'm able to create a strong bond with several of my teachers, and I was able to comfortably ask help from them.
What are some of the struggles you face with the act of asking for help and how can you better overcome those struggles?
I think my struggles are internal, because for a long time i didn't want to seek help because I thought it would give a negative impressions of me.
What's a language you would like to learn?
Definitely French!
@StanDaMan78
Hihi Stan! :) I'm glad that you were able to ask your teachers for help comfortably! That's super awesome hehe. Fearing negative impressions are natural, I felt that too and I'm super glad that we were both able to get through that. I think part of it was super internalized for some judgments that I was making about myself and fearing that other people might notice if that makes any sense. French is beautiful and I hope you get to learn it one day! :D
