Lost
Hi ,I am 18 years old at a point in life where all my friends have given entrances got good grades and know moving to the college and course of their dreams but me I am just at a home with the results that will do me no good. I am so scared I have been crying from weeks Depressed, neck tension, breakdowns I don't know what to choose what to do what is right what is wrong what excites me.... I don't know I don't know I swear I have to be a child who can support their parent after 4-6 years but I don't know what to do Everyone has other opinion My family has clashes I have no one to talk to it's difficult I don't know Engineering? Bachelor? Arts ? Business? I am confused And my marks ,the fees and everything It feels like I am a big burden for my family
I am so lost and what if it gets too late
Oop
I will begin by saying that I don’t have my *** together either (same age). I will also say that right now you look very overwhelmed from the outside and, from my own experience, you can’t see all you usually could when you’re in such a dark cloud.
My opinion right now is that… well, maybe there is not a ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ thing to choose for you now.
Maybe you don’t have to choose your life’s career or your future in such a permanent way. Life’s situations aren’t permanent like that.
So… first things first.
Take slow breaths, the actual ones just to slow down a touch. Not to fix anything yet. Just a moment.
It isn’t easy to think clearly when in the middle of a storm.
Then I can’t know what you currently need, but maybe it would do you good to remember that you don’t have to make a perfect choice. Not even a ‘good enough one’.
‘Cause I think it’s most likely (still, I don’t know your situation and I don’t want you to think my words are law, if they feel wrong it usually means that there is something I’m not getting and it doesn’t mean anything bad about you or your current state) you are not going to be despised by every single person you might ever encounter in your life after a mistake. Even big ones.
Despite how awful it feels and how stuck one remains, we do survive those feelings.
Having said all that, I want to give you a big hug 🫂. It’s going to be tough.
Well it's tough it is
When your family also thinks it's your fault and when you don't know what you actually want
Yeah.
That’s pretty likely too. I know it’s the same with my parents, if I can’t bring myself to do things anymore… suddenly it’s ‘laziness’ and lack of effort. It doesn’t automatically mean it’s true, you know.
Parents often don’t know what’s going on or what’s the actual harmful thing either many times.
And you’re not required to know what you want if nothing comes to mind yet.
I know I got aware of a few things (you might like telling someone about those little things or write it to yourself somewhere just to remind yourself of it in the worst moments) that I wanted with time.
Simple stuff like your food preferences or beverages or whatever unique things of yours. Even a past thing that right now you can’t feel anymore because of all the heaviness and anxiety and tiredness.
However, don’t get too discouraged if you can’t think of anything, not even small wants. It’s usually visible when you are not applying further pressure to it.
Right now, you could ask yourself more practical things. No need to find the goal or direction of your dreams yet.
Just look at perhaps what you managed best in your past years, a certain homework or a certain subject. See if you can choose something that is neutral. You can always shift once you find out it isn’t for you.
I say this also because once you place that weight somewhere, once you make some choices however wrong or else and you don’t hold onto the weight of what you can’t control (ex. you can’t know if you’ll pick the right direction already), you can gradually feel lighter and have that space to truly figure out what you want.
Or what you don’t want! That’s probably what you can figure out first. Seeing what makes you feel the most dread is the first step towards your unique direction.
These are a bunch of thoughts, I don’t know if any of these points intrigue you or resonate.
You don’t have to do all those things or even any of it, maybe you just needed someone to hear you out because none of what you have said so far feels unfamiliar to me.